Sweating Disorders

Does anyone know what this might be? This is anxiety Question, I think-?

2010-04-24T07:57:00.001-07:00

I am 42 years and female. I had this for 8 years. Ok here goes. I have spells that come on that Ifeel like I can't think well I get afraid and dizzy. I have a hard time doing anything when it happens. Some times it last all day. I can't remember thinks well and feel like I am going to go crazy. Some days it comes and goes. I have night sweats and headacks. I could go on but I hope you get the just of it. I take Celexa and xanax and it still happens. I talk to the doctor and he said anxiety disorder. And don't listen to me much after that. So I saw another doctor he say ocd I have no idea why. I don't do anything over and over again. Well I worry all the time if that counts. Anyway I get mad more than before and do know why. I ask about therapy he said it wouldn't help just take the meds. Anyone have any advice.

Does anyone know what this might be? This is anxiety Question, I think-?
Hi! I've had pretty much the same thing for about 15 yrs now. Did they already do blood work to rule out anything physical? If so, i know mine is anxiety disorder, with panic attacks, agoraphobia (fear of panic causing situations) and ocd!!! If you aren't already, you should see a psychiatrist not a general physician and therapy can really help a lot! I don't know why it would be discouraged??? They can help you learn breathing exercises and such. Also it may be that you need a switch in meds? How long have you been on these? I've had to switch a few times to find the right combination. Personally, I'd say to find a doctor with a little more concern... Let me know if you want to talk about it more!

AH! I'm also worse near my period and afraid of meds! especially when switching to new ones!
Reply:Sounds like you may be experiencing panic attacks. It also seems like its time to find another doctor if he's not listening to you anymore.
Reply:It sounds most likely Anxiety disorder...Panic Attacks...I use to have them. Everyone experiences it differently. You may have to try other meds, if they dont work keep trying other ones. I learned to control it on my own. The more I feared, the more I got the panic attacks...so try not to "worry" about it happening, just tell yourself everything is going to be okay and that its not real....and that may help a little.

You may have more than just Anxiety...so that may be why you have a wide variety of symptoms...do you have any type of depression or anything? (ill update my answer if you update more details)

:::update:::

Wow, I believe that definately is anxiety. My mom's boyfriend had it that bad actually, i never had it super bad. But he had to quit his job, and he had his own truck driving company and he couldn't drive, he didnt' want to go anywhere...he still has problems going long distance, he tried all the meds, nothing worked...he talked to his doctor with tips to try and take control for himself...express every symptom with a doctor who wants to listen to EVERYTHING, most female doctors listen more well than the males it seems. Male doctors seem to hear the first 5 symptoms and diagnose. Just try to get a 2nd opinion , the anxiety will cause a little depression because you are so frustrated with how its making you feel. Try to be around people as often as possible if it helps...and talk to a loved one about how you feel and see what they think also.
Reply:The feeling of being afraid and dizzy sounds like panic attacks or anxiety. I have a friend that has them so bad she can not leave the house.

The night sweats and headaches sounds more like you are starting to go through menopause.

If I were you, I would see another doctor as soon as possible. There are too many symptoms and it could be several things going on with you. Book an appointment with an OBGYN and have them look you over. Get another Primary care physician and see if they can't change your meds. Some work better than others, it just depends on the person.

I was having issues much like yours a year ago and it ended up being a low blood count. Have you had any blood work done recently? Get another Doctor, and an OBGYN and have a full blood work done. It may be something very simple.
Reply:Panic attacks and anxiety are basically the same to a degree Id also ask your doc for a Bio screen which is a basic blood test to find out If there is an underlying Illness such as Epstein Barr which can bring on panic Epstein is related to Glandular fever and other common things not life threatening for six month I thought I was going crazy or something really wrong with my brain eyes etc.
Reply:Peri menopause is what I'm hearing,,, on this question, your right on the age group and for 5years,,, you need to be talking to a obgyn, and maybe have physical,,, please seek the right doctors that you need and get on the road to feeling better, i know it frightens you, because wen it happens you don't know what triggers it,, but believe me once you get told from the Dr your feel better and will be award of whats going on,,,, that hyperventilation wont be as severe and the panicking, i use to do the same thing i would wake out of a sleep not being able to breath , numb around mouth and fingers, and wen it would happen out some where i would have to get up and go outside are somewhere by my self and i never knew wen it was going to happen?i went to a psychiatrist, evaluation, bi,polar , but that's not what I'm saying you have but he could help you with the panic attack , and please see a more caring Dr, yours is a quack ,,,, what your feeling is real, and scary to you, I"ve been there and its not fun to go thew that , boy that Dr of yours makes me mad,,,,,,now please go make appointments,,,,
Reply:Finding the right psych.for your personal needs often takes a lot of shopping around. It's unfortunate, but just because they have the degree doesn't mean that they are automatically fit for you.I truly suggest that you do some intensive shopping at this point. OCD? No. It does not sound like ocd, and that psych. just didn't care as your current one doesn't seem to either. Find some one that puts you at ease, makes you feel heard, understood, and taken care of. Don't cheat yourself. Remember, you are one that is contributing to the roof over their heads and the food in their mouths. You are important and deserve to be treated as such. Anxiety disorders can be very crippling, especially when not taken care of or wrong meds. are perscribed or not working. I have severe anxiety disorder and it was destroying me. After many years of extensive searching, I finally found the perfect psych. for me and have it under control. You deseve the same, so start the hunt soon and save yourself from a butt load of turmoil. Best of luck :)

primrose

Courtroom Humor?

2010-04-24T07:57:00.000-07:00

Panic and alcohol?

2010-04-24T07:56:00.001-07:00

Hi, I have had panic disorder for 20 years. I control the bad attacks with 1/2 xanax. This happens mabye once a month or so. I am also newly diagnosed with insulin resistance and take 500 mg of glucophage daily. My question is about 7 years ago all of a sudden when I decided to have a drink one evening, I drank about half of the drink and my heart started to race and I broke out into a sweat. Never did that before. I tried to drink maybe twice after that and the same thing happened, so I haven't drank since 2000. I would love to have a glass of wine at dinner or a drink when out with friends, but am afraid because of the past reaction. I by no means was a drinker, but I love the taste of wine. Just want to have maybe one drink. What could cause this to happen, and is it an allergic reaction, or was it a panic attack. By the way my heart checks out fine, so I know that isn't it, and I am not of Asian descent.

Panic and alcohol?
As Cammie so aptly states, alcohol tends to lower blood sugar. It's possible that when your blood sugar drops, your body compensates with epinephrine (adrenaline) which can stimulate an anxiety episode.

Why not just get rid of the panic disorder, since your Xanax obviously is never going to cure it? It's hard work, but it can be done if you just follow Dr. David Burns' instructions as outlined in one of his books...

"When Panic Attacks", or....

"The Feeling Good Handbook"

etc.

His stuff works. It cured me.
Reply:You can give it a try and have one glass of wine with dinner.

Maybe your problems before was not eating while drinking ?

Alcohol LOWERS blood sugar so always eat when drinking and check your sugars often.
Reply:Pray about it.God hears prayers.
Reply:Alcohol DOES NOT LOWER BLOOD SUGAR. It increases it. Alcohol IS sugar or at least comes from sugars. People answering usually mean well be some have absolutely no clue what they are talking about.

Could anyone help diagnose this?

2010-04-24T07:56:00.000-07:00

At first, I thought my current symptoms may have to do with my PTSD ( post traumatic stress disorder ) or my recent transition to college, but without insurance, I cannot do much as they worsen.

Symptoms:

Nausea/ Vomitting after eating

Fever

Cold sweats

Shakes

Headaches

Fatigue

Stomach aches

Mild congestion

These have been occuring for about a month now. I cannot find any plausible link or cause. I just wish I knew what I was dealing with.

Could anyone help diagnose this?
If you've had fever for a month, you have to see a doctor, however you can. You could have all sorts of infections or other inflammatory diseases. No one here can narrow that down for you, even if they pretend they can. Check with your county's health department. Does your college have a student health service? Whether the right place for you to go in your community is a low-cost clinic or free care through the county or your school, you're risking getting very ill unless you see a doctor about this.
Reply:I am no doctor.. but it sounds like poisoning.. Lead? how old is the house you live in? Ecoli? Water source questionable?
Reply:Not likely to be PTSD causing it, you'd know if it was.

I think I saw 2 ghosts what should i do?

2010-04-24T07:55:00.001-07:00

O.K this is not for the faint of heart. so i woke up last night around 1201 and broke into a cold sweat. The real thing that woke me up was my arousal and i must admit it felt retty good. This was very weird for me because it actually felt lie i was having sex at the very moment when i looked in the mirror i saw a very beautiful woman and myself floating in the air as i was having intercours with er i immediatley jumped and ran out the room but suspicion drugg my back onlt to find that now the floaing woman and myself were reaching a climax point the **** was really weird and about 30 seconds later i lierally came on myself and the 2 ghost images dissapeared into thin air. As you can image I didnt sleep but found myself painting back and forth. I picked up the phone and called one of my friends as she explained to me this was a rare case called ghosexual disorder where ghost come in and have sex with your spirit if this happen again what should i do someone give me some mental help

I think I saw 2 ghosts what should i do?
i can't believe u told everybody about this.... hide ur head in shame
Reply:I think you should stay off the drugs. Or call Ghost Busters!

queen of the night

Im Really Nervous?

2010-04-24T07:55:00.000-07:00

I'm going to sleepaway camp in six days with all of my best friends (well, 3 of them!) and im kinda nervous. you see i've been to sleepaway camp before (this will be my third year) and i've been fine every year. im only going for 3 weeks (one more week than normal) but im still really jittery. You see this year i formed an anxiety disorder. I've basically got it under control and im on medicine that seems to be working, and im fine during the day but at night sometimes i wake up in cold sweats and get really nauses. I know there is a camp doctor and all, but this is a new camp and im kinda scarred and stressed out. i cant talk to my mom about this because they didnt want to send me in the first place because of my anxiety, and we already paid all the money. Plus, i know doing this will help me. Do you have any suggestions on how i can calm down? or even just some reassurance?

Im Really Nervous?
Before you leave if you wake up in the middle of the night practice deep breathing to calm you. Picture your anxiety on a chalkboard and with each deep breath imagine you are erasing it off the chalkboard. Take something with you that you find calming and reassuring. If you wake up in the middle of the night and you are able to get up and just stretch - try to think about the next days activities.
Reply:no/a

♥xoxox♥
Reply:just dont stress out so much.

it sounds like you will have alot of fun.

i wish i was going to a 3 week camp.

just think about the positive stuff %26amp; how much fun you will have !
Reply:well apart from your medicine that you are taking now you could try a thing called rescue remedy, i live in Ireland and it is available here and i think England too but I'm not sure about America, anyway, its for nerves from job interviews and stuff and you don't need a prescription and its completely natural so it shouldn't interfere with your medicine you are already taking.............give it a try!!!

good luck at camp and remember that your friends are there so there will be nothing to worry about!!
Reply:That's sad! I think I have bad anxiety but I haven't gone to the doctor for medication, so your lucky you got that far!!

Talk to your friends about it. Have them reassure you they'll be there for you if anything happens, and they won't get mad if you have an attack and have to go home. If you have that much assured I think you're mind will rest a little bit better.

Then go to camp and HAVE FUN. Don't worry about anything. The hardest part will be the first 2 days probably, but once you make new friends, and start having fun and doing fun things It'll get BETTER, I PROMISE!!

Just try it.
Reply:dont think about it. Have fun and keep your friends close. Before you fall asleep think about something you can dream of.
Reply:when you feel yourself getting nervous just take a deep breath. just remember that your best buds are there and that your going to have a rocking time. if you dont feel right, GET A COUNSLER. they will understand!!

Good luck :-)
Reply:relax, have fun, 3 of your friends will be there and they will help you through it too.

You'll be fine.
Reply:just try counting to 10. I have panic/anxiety attacks too.

Just focus on your breathing and if you need to go and grab a drink. dont drink or eat stuff that will keep you up all night. Before you go to sleep clear your thoughts.

if you wake up not so good just continue to focus on your breathing. ((1 breath in 1 breath out ect )) and try and remain calm as hard as it is.
Reply:Try and relax and breath trust me i know how u feel. And don't worry your friends will be right there for you. Try and explain the situation to them but let them know that you still want to go and i guessing that once they know whats going on they will be able to help you through any rough nights.

hope this helps ; %26gt;)
Reply:kinda used to be like that... anyways RELAX!!! have fun...during the day, keep yourself busy and youll forget about anxiety! and if you dont, just remember that your friends are there with you......good luck!!!

I think I had a sort of attack last night what do you think?

2010-04-24T07:54:00.001-07:00

ok, I'm going to describe all the things I have then you can make a choice on what is wrong. I have I.B.S, lactose Intolerant, I have Acid Reflux. I have panic disorder, and OCD. Every once in awhile like last night I woke up and I didn't feel good. My stomach was hurting me. I had been takening samples of previcid for my acid reflux. I have stopped taking them because I ran out. So I woke up at like 2am with an awful tummy ache, then I felt like I was getting dizzy. I know the feeling because it's happened before. So I barely make it to the bathroom before I feel like I'm either going to faint or throw up. And I sweat like crazy. I never actually do either, but last night I gaged. Then the only thing that works for me, it to get a cold wash cloth and try and calm myself down. Among all of this, I'm also shaking, more of a tremble. woke up, walking around the room keeps turning black. Like low or high blood or sugar. What is your dignose?

I think I had a sort of attack last night what do you think?
I'd first look at your diet- if you have IBS and digestive disorders, I'd ask if you are on a hypoglycemia diet. Symptoms can include dizziness, racing heart, feeling weak or faint.

http://hypoglycemia.org/hypo_test.asp

Then I'd ask if you've ever been tested for iron deficiency or anemia - symptoms can include dizziness, racing heart, feeling weak or faint.

Next I'd ask what you normally eat-- a healthy diet free of simple carbs and sugars? Enough protein for your weight, vegetables, lots of water, little or no caffeine. Symptoms of a bad diet can included dizziness, racing heart, feeling weak or faint.

If you happen to wake up feeling weak and dizzy, I suggest you eat something like orange juice and whole grain bread + peanut butter and see if you feel better within 30 minutes or so-- this will raise your blood sugar
Reply:heey i know the feeling. its prob a combination. i used to get panic attacks all the time. its one of the worst feelings in the world. but you seem to have a lot symptoms. i strongly suggest that u should go to the doctor and get a check up. blood test maybe xray if this is happening often. i get head rushes sometimes wen im nervous like my head starts to tickle. tell me how things go and if u get other symptoms. keep me updated

i hopeu feel better
Reply:You might have Chrohns disease, my husband and step son have it. It is an ugly disease that can reek havoc on your entire body.
Reply:I think you had a vasovagal reaction in response to the stomach pain. A vasovagal reaction is the most common cause of fainting, and the symptoms (short of fainting) include becoming sweaty, nauseous, and pale. Here's a Wikipedia source to read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vasovagal_s...

What caused the abdominal pain, I don't know. Probably the IBS.

By the way, you have alot of symptoms of anxiety. This is probably the cause of most of your physical symptoms. I recommend you see a psychiatrist.

In court - long but worth the read! lol?

2010-04-24T07:54:00.000-07:00

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are

things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now

published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while

these exchanges were actually taking place. It's worth reading to the end!

Those of you who have worked with attorneys will find this very easy to

understand. Others will find it easier.

ATTORNEY: Are you sâ‚¬xually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

_______________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________ !

ATTORNEY: %26amp; nbsp; This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at

all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

______________ ________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,

he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a

deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead

people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be or4l, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Or4l.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy on him!

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

______________________________________...

And the best for last

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began

the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing

law.

In court - long but worth the read! lol?
hahaha, it's true that clever people have no common sense, thanks for the laugh, have a star.
Reply:this was posted a couple of days ago
Reply:lol.
Reply:lmao thats good
Reply:they are sooo cool!
Reply:You left the best for last!

Cheers.
Reply:LOL well worth the time! Put a smile on my face anyways ty!
Reply:they are very good lol defiantly worth a star
Reply:Too funny, now give us some more, LOL
Reply:its a good job that you stopped when you did as you would have been responsible for an accident

that was the funniest thing i heard in years

i will be laffin all day thank you
Reply:makes us realise who the sane ones are huhh???..... laughed my wig off at this....
Reply:good job i dont work in a court, i would be on the floor laughing!
Reply:its amazing what kind of imbecile's we have defending us and to see that justice prevails.
Reply:I think I'll buy the book!
Reply:this was on a few days ago it was funny then
Reply:and these people are supposed to be some of the smartest on the planet?

Can anyone tell me who is the best skin specialist in bangalore.?

2010-04-24T07:53:00.001-07:00

I am suffering from a chronic skin disorder that is folluculitis on the scalp and seborriac dermatitis and also pimples. My face is very oily and i sweat a lot. I am 27 years old. I went to each and every skin specilist in my home town but no one could cure this. The results were short termed. As soon as i discontinued the medications my problems returned. I am suffering from hair loss due to this problem. There is lot of irritation on my scalp due to these lesions on my scalp. I take bath every day with dandruff shampoo. I have heard a lot about Dr Bhatra in bangalore. Please tell me is it worth going to him and also some one please tell me who is the best dermatologist in bangalore.

Can anyone tell me who is the best skin specialist in bangalore.?
You have a problem of oily skin and too much of sweating. You may first want to take some steps yourself. Well if you wish to take certain measures yourself then try these:

1. Avoid applying any oil, creams or lotions on your scalp, face and body.

2. Avoid hot spicy food and chocolates

3. You are overdoing the things perhaps - should restrict washing your body using soap to once or twice a day only.

4. Avoid anxiety of whatever nature.

5. Get yourself a good air conditioner which maintains good temperature control as well as humidity control.

6. If you are not allergic to Doxycyclines, then take one tablet or capsule (100 mg each) twice daily for 7 days and then switch over to one daily for the next seven days. You will be OK.
Reply:I do'n know, but u should not take it easy. please go to a good doctor.
Reply:The best skin specialist is Dr. Prakash on Richmond road. The man is a genius. He does not just prescribe regular medicines, but has special preparations made at Cash pharmacy, just for the patient. Also, if you can happen to get hold of Pro-Activ, I've heard it is the best thing in the world for treating Acne. It does not come cheap, but it has a near 100% success rate. Google pro activ for more information. Hope that helps. Good luck.

golden ball

Sorry, here it is again, deleted it. lawyers one?

2010-04-24T07:53:00.000-07:00

These are from a book called ' Disorder in the American Courts', and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were taking place!

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk.

ATTORNEY: But nevertheless could the patient have still been alive?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Sorry, here it is again, deleted it. lawyers one?
Awesome, I loved the first ones, and again, laughed so hard I was crying. I spit soda out my nose....ouchie! 8D
Reply:how did you do that?
Reply:Very witty! I love that kinda stuff!X
Reply:Well done - you picked out the best ones.
Reply:Only in America. LOL
Reply:you just made my day!
Reply:lmao thats funny
Reply:Oh joy and more of them come of the conveyor belt all the time.
Reply:Nice !!! You wonder how many ppl got sent behind bars because of these lawyers...
Reply:That was great

thanks for the lift
Reply:entertaining.
Reply:lmao 10/10 .u go on the same site as me (wink ) pmsl keep them coming
Reply:so funny I've got a bloody headache laughing.Thanks
Reply:great: how many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

3 one to change the bulb, one to push him off the ladder and the other to sue the ladder company.

See how lawyers think on their feet?

2010-04-24T07:52:00.000-07:00

These are from a book called Disorder in the Court, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges

were actually taking place. Some of these are excellent.

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15th.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;A: No.

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;A: No.

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;Q: Did you check for breathing?

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;A: No.

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;A: No.

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and pra cticing law

%26gt; %26gt; %26gt;somewhere

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

See how lawyers think on their feet?
My brother is a lawyer,what a way to start the day.Thank you so much.
Reply:They say that only cockroaches and lawyers will survive a nuclear war.
Reply:Old ones but gud...
Reply:Which just goes to show that lawyers just don't listen
Reply:lol its sort of funny

clear weed

Courtroom Humor?

2010-04-24T07:51:00.001-07:00

Am I Crazy ??

2010-04-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

i think i may have a social anxiety disorder, cus im always afraid to do anything new that involves people, i studder around people when i get nervous and say dumb stuff, and i freak out and start to sweat around people and find myself having to leave crowded areas

Am I Crazy ??
the symptoms you described dont sound crazy.
Reply:Well if your only question is "am I crazy?" then the answer is no.
Reply:Disorders and psychosis are different things.
Reply:No, but I think you're right that you may have a social anxiety disorder. This doesn't make you crazy. Talk to your doctor. There are medications that can help.
Reply:No ur anxious and probably in need of medication cause i have similar problem and is much better on medication. Talk to ur doctor I am glad i did.
Reply:crazy, maybe, you just need a good cover up so people dont think so

might i suggest drink large amounts or coffee

works my my friend
Reply:It sounds like you have the beginning problems of depression.

Get some professional help and then try and get more in amongst people by say joining more clubs, sports and groups. Take on more hobbies and interests to break the cycle.
Reply:Well, if that means your crasy then I'm crasy too, right along with you. I've never liked large crowds and it's always made me uncomfortable and akward feeling, messing up sentences and things like that also. When I was in school, the reading aloud assignments and things of that nature made me a wreck.
Reply:No not crazy but you probably have some type of anxiety disorder. They are common so don't be reluctant to talk this over with your doctor.
Reply:You'll never be old and wise if you were never young and crazy.

Check yo grip man I think you're holding on to tight.

There is only one recipe for you and that is crazy.

Here some crazy for you, you gotta love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIBIKfV2E...
Reply:No, if you were in a manic state of mind you wouldn't be aware of it. Now as for the stuttering problem, you have an excitable nature which can be controlled. Stuttering is actually a slowness of speech and with careful attention you can progress normally. Here is a part of my personal life; I am a volunteer counselor in many areas of life and I am a person with a slowness of speech also. This had often left me in an embarrassing position especially when making a statement or a speech to others. After purposely slowing down my behavior I only have the problem occasionally and its quite humorous. Volunteer counselor Western Illinois University.
Reply:Hey Bronx

Crazy -- don't think so --- sounds to me like you simply haven't had the opportunity to adjust to the "socializing" thing for whatever reason !! And, if you are having a major difficulty in getting started AT it --- makes it kinda hard to get Better at it -- ya know !!

A lot of the socializing thing hinges around the core OF confidence in one's self --- and if you are basing a lot of your actions in these settings by the way its BEEN -- you're already at a disadvantage when you start up !!

The best place to build confidence in social settings is with much smaller groups of people --- even "groups" of two or three is a start !!

As you "get your feet wet" in these matters --- you're going to learn that YOU have about as much worthwhile STUFF to add to these gatherings as any of the rest of these jokers !! And, probably, in some cases --- MORE !!

Start small --- with one or two people who will simply let YOU be YOU --- get comfortable with THAT and somewhere along the way -- add a person or two to the mix !! You'll probably find that in a fairly short order -- your right at home with the larger groups !!!

Good Luck to you --- and stop this garbage of Crazy Talk --- you are a long way from THAT !!!

Who can relate to this poem I wrote? And what you think about it?

2010-04-24T07:50:00.001-07:00

Nightmares

Submerged in a pool of someone else control

They’re taken my emotions and imprisoned my soul

Forgetting my identity I âm mechanical from head to toe

Waking up in a cold sweat and afraid of my own shadow

NIGHTMARES!!

F**kin NIGHTMARES!!

Another life that lives in my subconscious mind

One that keeping me awake with the silence of the night

Visions of disorder flowing through my brain

Having to convince myself I âm not going insane

by ISABEL

Who can relate to this poem I wrote? And what you think about it?
I love your poem, it is very thought provoking. If its any help YOU are sane ...only the truly sane will question their own sanity ,the insane never consider their own madness!! keep up the good writing...
Reply:It's not really like a poem, sort of like a paragraph
Reply:It is good and well thought out but you must work on your grammar a bit. Good Luck!
Reply:it's really good. i can't relate, but it's really an excellent poem.
Reply:wow i llove it it is it reminds my of the book blue is for mightmares , and my sisters depressing peoms, but i really do like it
Reply:sounds like to me your depressed and need to talk to someone. hope things work out better for you
Reply:you're normal. go read my poems in my blog if ya want..ya might like them myspace.com/evilcockslide
Reply:I am truly convinced that you are a convicted emo or you are insane. But on the other hand, you could be bored...or it could have been something else. I don't know.

I can't say I can relate to it. I am flexible and made of weird things and I am not afraid of my shadow, but I do contain 12 other people in my head(inside joke).

I think it's really great though.

It makes me think of System of a Down. lol
Reply:I think this poem is a representation of the stress you feel about your fears. It's very moving and dark.

I want to tell you something about dreams, Okay?

Your brain uses dreams as a means by which to relieve itself of thoughts and emotions which take up too much room in your memories. It's a self-defense mechanism.

This is going to sound a little coarse and vulgar... Read on.

Sometimes, when you are feeling bad physically, running a fever maybe, bellyache maybe and you don't have an appetite for food,

you'll try to sleep it off or soldier through it until you feel better.

Occasionally, if you think about it, your body stores up too much waste. Your brain works the same way, it runs your body you know. Well you might all at once have to go running off to the bathroom to go # 2..

You'll take a burning hot poop and all at once be cured of your ailments, you'll feel better.

Your brain does this by dreaming, good or bad. Nightmares make you wake up and say to your self, man I'm glad that was just a dream.

I hope you don't have too many more nightmares

Good luck.
Reply:There is no reason to use profanity in poetry, no excuse but that of pure ignorance. Only someone without a vocabulary uses profanity in anything, and at least 1 person was honest enough to tell you this is not poetry. Go ahead and believe all the ones who lie to you for the possibility of 10 points, but I know, and you probably do to, that you have little or no idea what poetry is.

Poetry is:

Words arranged to convey a story or thought in such a manner as to have rhythm aka. meter, aka. flow.

This flow is what makes poetry easy to read and understand.

Poetry may or may not rhyme, that is a choice of the individual.

Poetry is not a lot of pretty words joined, it is a lot of words joined prettily.

Nuff free lessons for now.

Nice essay, by the way.

But not poetry.

As for nightmares, yeah I can relate. 20 odd years of them after returning from Viet Nam.
Reply:dondi. I admire your critique always. I myself have very little patience when I see profanity but sadly its part of the subculture and sometimes conveys a meaning otherwise lost.

As far as the poem/prose, silence of the night implies no thought but you are full of thought albeit not your own. But I likes the last 2 lines..wishing you had written upwards from those 2 lines...

Also typos loose ones train of thought. Do a once over before you submit. I got stuck on line 2 trying to figure out what you meant

IMHO

Medical question?

2010-04-24T07:50:00.000-07:00

Why do you think that when I go outside on lower temperatures, not necessary freezing, my members get really cold(fingers, toes mostly) and I get a cold sweat on my palms and rest of my body?

Could this be related to a blood circulation problem or a hormon disorder?

I would appreciate an answer from professionals or from anybody who has had similar experiences.

Thank you!!!

Medical question?
I have a condition called Raynaud's disease. It's a condition where my extremities, specifically hands, nose and feet get painfully cold and slightly change color, even in if it's not cold outside, or I am inside, I keep my place pretty warm during winter months (75 degrees)....that might be it...here's a site I recommend:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/raynaud...

that might be it...I'd ask a doctor though...

Good Luck!
Reply:My mom is 55 and she has been dealing with that issue also, primarily during the winter months. She went to the doctor a week ago and they were checking her for circulation problems and asking her to check and see if her feet were doing it also. Her labs havent came back yet but they are treating her for circulation issues. Good Luck!!!
Reply:This problem is due to the blood circulation can not reach your peripherals, this needs to be checked for the reason. If u are diabetic patient, so start by controlling your glucose blood level. Anyhow u can start with vit. B12 (1000U) injections, this will improve your case.
Reply:I'm certainly not a Doc. But here's my take. You should wear under clothes that wick away heat and sweat. Check out cold weather clothes on the net. Wear a hat and plan to layer your clothes.

Some companies have a new wool fiber that will wick perspiration before the moisture makes you cold.

If all else fails Make an appointment to your Doc.

peacock plant

Why Do People Like To Smeel Their Flatulence and Toe Nails?

2010-04-24T07:49:00.001-07:00

This may sound like a disgusting topic, and I guess it is, but I was truly curious about this.

I have this weird habit to almost instinctively smell my flatulence when I'm in bed, and other places. Whenever I clip my toenails I cant help buy sniffing them. These are a few of the things I find myself almost habitually sniffing...and I cant find out why.

One might say that I'm just a freak suffering from some rare mental disorder, but I have seen and heard about these habits on TV (often being made fun of) , indicating that many people share these habits.

I thought about this, and one answer I came up with is, maybe we do this to sort of "check" ourselves. Body odors such as our flatulence or sweat, or toenails may be markers for our bodies well-being. As cavemen when we were relied more heavily on our sense (in this case smell), we may have smelled our flatulence to see if we were healthy, thus cavemen who smelled there flatulence would survive longer and be more healthy-reproduce

Why Do People Like To Smeel Their Flatulence and Toe Nails?
See this site for everything you wanted to know about flatulence, but were afraid to ask...

http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
Reply:i don't ever SMEEL my farts or toenails!
Reply:You don't get out much, do you?
Reply:I don't usually smell my flat... by i sometimes smell my toe when i clip the nail, though I can't deny not having smelt my f...ever. The reason I think for both is that I want to know myself.. It is the same reason why i think a person would want to look at his asshole with a hand-held mirror even when he/she knows exactly what he/she will see. But the price is more in case of flat.... so I dont do it.. Even the smell of my toe hasn't changed over the years so I don't recall doing it in the recent past. but again I have to say that reading your question made me want to clip my toe nail just to get a whiff.......
Reply:Is smeel a kind of kneeling or bend-over posture?

Lexapro.....A LIVING HELL!!!!????

2010-04-24T07:49:00.000-07:00

I am looking for anyone who has ever been on this medication and ever quit taking it.

I was taking it for 3+ years for panic disorder. The panic attacks never got much better so.... I opted to quit the Lexapro because of that and other side effects, ie, constant fatigue, lowered libido and the like. I spoke with my doctor and he recommended a "weaning schedule" which I followed to the letter. BUT here's the "Fun" part:

The first weeks of being completely off the meds, I felt pretty good, then the withdrawal symptoms really kicked in. Electrical shock feelings everytime I move my eyes, crying jags, thoughts of suicide (no one panic - I have a wonderful partner who is helping me make sure that these are only thoughts) sweats, hot flashes, chills, aches and pains, dizziness that is so bad that I sometimes cannot even stand. And this is just the beginning - I cannot relate the fear that I get that this will never get any better.

Anyone else out there ever gone through it?

Lexapro.....A LIVING HELL!!!!????
I have gone through this numerous times w/ meds such as 50 mg Paxil umm...lexapro...wellbutrin and then paxil cr....It goes away. But you must stand up and fight..Fight it like someones trying to take your life! And if you have trouble comprehending that right now imagine someone you care deeply about having to live without you...Fight for that...It is like your posessed. I often wonder what it really is..Doeasnt it feel like someone has replaced the real you...sometimes. Also watch your sugar and caffiene. Give it a full month...Don't drink excessively. You may want to try a natural approach ,...Do light yoga...get a DVD or on demand comcast...So lt. yoga..st. johns wart and maybe some Valarian root. Take a multi vitamin and maybe a b-6 and b-12 supplement. I'm seriously considering going that route.
Reply:I took it several years ago for depression and as I recall, the doctor told me it took several weeks to completely build up in my system. Maybe it will take that long (or longer) to get it all out. I'm sure it will get better...hang in there!
Reply:I definitely hated Lexapro. I only ended up being it for a few weeks because my side effects were so bad. The suicidal thoughts and hallucinations scared the s**t out of me.
Reply:I honestly cannot tell if these are withdrawl symptoms or part of a disorder. You might want to check into that, there is a website with some good information, check it out there.

pychecentral.com

Will you star this??

2010-04-24T07:48:00.001-07:00

Hilarious questions %26amp; answers supposedly from real courts.

These are taken from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts".

Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15th.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Will you star this??
The last one was the best!
Reply:LOL!
Reply:These are all in uncle johns bathroom reader.
Reply:LOL...luv it! Star for you! :D
Reply:Consider this starred and thank you.
Reply:lol, those are funny, and btw, i will give you a star if you give the best answer, i mean, fair is fair
Reply:Lol =)
Reply:Man, those hurt.You should be shot for sharing those with the general public.What's wrong with you?Those suck so bad that I almost choked on my fajita.
Reply:AHAHAHAHAH.
Reply:Very good and a star
Reply:I absolutely love any joke(s) that show how one-track minded the lawyers are. They stick to a script in the courtroom. Yes, you definately deserve a star! * And the last poke at a lawyer was the very best!
Reply:hahahahahaaa!!!!! my sister is just like that!

imma give you one really big star!!!!!
Reply:thats funny. a star for you.
Reply:you did something like this yesterday
Reply:Q. Are these are the best jokes you've heard in years?

A. Oh my yes.

Q. would you like to hear some more?

A. I think you mean, taste.

Q You must think your a smarty pants

A. I told you they were too tight.
Reply:LMAO!I loved it!!! FIVE STARS!!!! *****
Reply:No, I will not star this question, but it is very good joke!

Thanks and Sorry

Don

Help! I feel like giving up!?

2010-04-24T07:48:00.000-07:00

Okay I joined BLC (Biggest Loser Club) like 2-3 days ago,

I started out at 286, and now I am still 286

I have done the cardio and strength training. (Trust me, my whole shirt is covered in sweat)

What am I doing wrong?

I eat breakfast, Special K

then around 4pm I do my work out, then I eat another Special K cereal.

I feel like having an eating disorder!

Help! I feel like giving up!?
2-3 days?!?!? Did you get fat in 2 days? What were you expecting to happen?

Weight loss takes time. Stick with the program. If you still haven't lost anything after a couple of months, come back and ask the question again.
Reply:you cant expect results in 2 days. keep it up!!!! dont do the eating disorder!!!
Reply:2-3 days ago? Well, you're just getting started then. :)

Take it easy on yourself and keep going. You're doing great! Remember, it did not take 1-2 days / weeks to get where you are now so it won't take 1-2 days l/ weeks to get fit and slim. Keep a realistic perspective and persevere!
Reply:Dont eat Special K. Its full of sugar and unnecessary additives. Look for another healthier cereal, or scrap eating cereal completley. Two meals of cereal a day is NOT healthy, instead eat some veggies or fruit.
Reply:When starting to exercise, you can not expect instant results or you will fail. If you weigh yourself before and after you workout and lose weight, you did not drink enough water during the workout. If you gained weight, you drank too much water.

Measure yourself today. Use a flexible tape (sold in the fabric sections of discount/fabric stores). Measure yourself in a month to see results. Measure your right arm (as close to your shoulder as you can get), Measure the skinniest part of your waist, measure the largest part of your hips and your upper right thigh.

Also, you need to make sure that you eat enough to make sure that your body isn't starving and retaliating. Check out this site: http://www.bodyforlife2.com/calorie_inta...

This site will tell you how many calories you need to maintain your current weight (without exercising). I would eat that many calories as long as you are exercising. Focus on getting your daily fruits %26amp; veggies, protien, water, daily vitamin %26amp; dairy.

Don't give up. Make mini goals for yourself -- lose 5 pounds by Memorial Day weekend and then give yourself a treat (non-food related).

You can do this. I just takes some time when you do it right.

Good Luck!
Reply:go to this website and only give up on the stress! good luck!

herbal-nutrition.net/vitalhealthcare

pink

I'm hot with no fever, consistantly.?

2010-04-24T07:47:00.001-07:00

i am hot day in and day out breaking out in sweats, with no fever. i am way too young for menopause and last time i had a physical (last month) i was functioning properly (hormonal wise). i am on constsant perscription medication for bi-polar disorder but ive been on them for quite awhile, and feeling warm is not a side effect. i am really out of options, i have no idea whats wrong. its 10 below in toronto, and im sleeping with my windows open in my apartment just to be comfortable enough to sleep. it's becoming quite a chore these days. any suggestions appreciated.

I'm hot with no fever, consistantly.?
there can be a number of underlying cause and one that springs readily to mind is Thyrotoxicosis or hyperthyroidism. However, the only way to be sure is to go to your doctor who would take a blood test to see what your thyroid function is. Additionally, there ould e the issue of early menopause, again a blood test could look at this. I suggest nest time youare describing symptoms realting to this consider the foollowing questions, Have u been losing weight although having an increase appetite, Any change in the texture of the skin or presentation such as being oily or dry as well as any enlargement in the neck, any frequent urination especially at night, what about your menses, is it non-existent, are u feeling anxious, upset, changes in mood,feeling thirsty all the time, any palpitations, can u feel ur heart beating or racing, any changes in your eyes, such as lid lag, not being able to close ur eyes, inability to sleep at night, feeling excessively tired.

IF you answer yes to any or all of the above please see your doctor. This is important. Hope everything works out well.
Reply:Sounds like hot flashes.
Reply:Go to the doc.
Reply:maybe your just hot.

sexy hot.
Reply:Get checked for diabetes or pre-diabetic condition. Also some medications cause sweating. Check it out.
Reply:It could be blood pressure.
Reply:could be pregnant.
Reply:This could be a medical problem that you will have to talk to your doctor about. A gland in the brain called the hypothalamus starts hot flashes. It regulates temperature in the body. It is also involved in regulating the menstrual cycle.

The hypothalamus is like the body's thermostat. During a flash, the thermostat suddenly gets reset down, not up. Your body is like the house and the hot flash is like the heating/air conditioning system. So somebody suddenly turns the thermostat (hypothalamus) way down and demands a much lower temperature in the house (body). Only this heating and cooling system (hot flash) responds by opening the windows. It cools by causing heat to escape from the warm (98.8 F) house to the cooler outside world.
Reply:have you been tested for T.B%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;have thyroid checked as well......
Reply:hyperthyroidism?

go have a thyroid function test done (T4 and TSH levels)

Agoraphobia vs. social anxiety?

2010-04-24T07:47:00.000-07:00

i used to have panic attacks all day long.. worry about everything.. pain in my chest, headache, not able to relax at all.. a mix between GAD and panic attacks.. sometimes it would go as far as a full blown panic attack.. i usually get nervous in public but its more the fact that i'm afraid of being nervous in the situation.. i notice i sweat.. feel self conscience etc. i'm not sure what i have my question is do i have agoraphobia or social anxiety or something else? i know it is some type of disorder i also have a little bit of ocd but i guess we all do i dont know.. i take seredyn this natural medication and it mellows me out my stress is high lately but i have yet to have a panic attack without seredyn i would have already.. its not as powerful as a drug but good enough... so what do you guys think i have???

Agoraphobia vs. social anxiety?
Hi--I certainly cannot diagnose you, put it sounds more like panic disorder, if you are afraid of getting panic attacks.A panic attack often begins abruptly, peaks within 10 minutes and lasts about half an hour. But panic attacks have many variations. They may last hours or, on rare occasions, up to a day. You may feel fatigued and worn out after a panic attack subsides.

Signs and symptoms may include:

Rapid heart rate

Sweating

Trembling

Shortness of breath and hyperventilation

Chills

Hot flashes

Nausea

Abdominal cramping

Chest pain

Headache

Dizziness

Faintness

Tightness in your throat

Trouble swallowing

A sense of impending death

Other health problems — such as an impending heart attack, an overactive thyroid gland (hyperthyroidism) or drug withdrawal — can cause similar signs and symptoms.

*****You are right: People who experience panic attacks often are affected by other mental health conditions, including depression, fear of public places (agoraphobia) and social phobia.*****
Reply:its not social anxiety. thats all i can say bout dis.
Reply:I think it's doctor time for you. Hope you feel better after you see a doctor!
Reply:Sounds like social anxiety, since you don't get anxious just by leaving the house. Of course, the etiology of all phobias are the same. Phobias are classified as anxiety disorders. Usually anxiety that has some other and yet unidentified source. That anxiety is projected or displaced onto some other object or situation.
Reply:An agoraphobic is a person who's afraid to go out side for fear of having a panic attack in public and having to deal with the humiliation of that. As long as you can still go out side than you're probably suffering from a severe form of social anxiety. It can be treated and a lot of the times they are able to do it with behavior modifications instead of medications. You should check it out and see if it would help you.
Reply:If you can go out in your backyard without fear then you don't have agoraphobia...that is a fear of the outdoors in general. It's not of going to a mall or something, it's of leaving your house to take out the garbage, to mow your lawn, to walk your dog in your own yard etc. Social anxiety is fear of places with people.
Reply:Agoraphobia is fear of the market place in general. The best think to do is see a professional. Go to agoraphobia.ws for so intresting information that might help you out. I will pray for you and don't give up.

Please help i am worried about my sister?

2010-04-24T07:46:00.001-07:00

my sister is 17 and has smoked weed since she was 12 before anyone starts she has a joint disorder which means her joints dislocate about 15/20 times a day so weed is the only way to control the pain as no drugs can help , she also had a kidney problem but that went away . for the last few weeks she has been having night sweats , really really bad tummy pains/aches , and been feeling really tired . when i type in her symptoms all that seems to come up is leukiema and the menopause i am terrorfied now that she has cancer what do u think ?? so doest have any other symptoms or could it be her kidney problem or the fact that she has smoked weed for so many years please please tell me what you think

Please help i am worried about my sister?
i'm not sure what is wrong with her but i do know it isn't because she's smoked weed all this time. weed has no negative physical effects
Reply:Take her to the doctor!
Reply:She needs emergency help, go to a doctor, obviously she is getting some reaction from the weed and its not helping with her Joint Disorder. I don't know what it is but she needs proper hospital care right now, hope everything is ok xxxxxxxx
Reply:I THINK YOU SIS NEEDS TO HAVE SOME BLOOD WORK DONE ASAP, A PANEL TEST, AND SEE A DR.
Reply:If she has this joint disorder, she should be working with a doctor to get her better pain control. She needs to keep going to the doctor to get help...she shouldn't have to resort to weed. Encourage her to see the doctor.
Reply:I have an answer for this one but you have to IM or message me. Please share the info I send you with parents, too.
Reply:Marijuana does not cause stomach pains and if she has been smoking for 5 yrs she is used to the effects. Kidney problems could have came back. She needs to go to the doctor.
Reply:Weed has no affect on the body other than the brain and even then it's not really that detremental. Well it does affect the lungs too but no way it's going to hurt her in her lifetime. She should go to the doctor though and get those other symptoms checked out. Sounds like it could be as simple as a stomach virus.
Reply:I really have no idea wat she has, but i think she should talk 2 a doctor. maybe they can help. i hope your sister feels better :)
Reply:The symptoms she has, may or may not be cancer. The only way is for her to get checked out. It could just be stress manifested in a physical way. You can't just assume that it's cancer without anything else to back it up except common symptoms. So don't be too worried... just get her to a doc.
Reply:i think u should take her to the emegency room or doctor to see what has happened

i dont think u want to lose her

so dont hide it from your parents and take her to thed octor or emergency room

juss to tell you she could pass away

gob be with her
Reply:Those symptoms don't necessarily mean cancer...It could be due to the weed she has been smoking but the only way to know for sure is to see her doctor. Try not to worry.

Sara, to say that weed has no physical effects is absolute Cr*p...It can cause lots of symptoms

Jamie B....Get real. You are fooling yourself if you think smoking weed has no physical effects
Reply:I really don`t think its the weed. It`s very easy to read symptoms and make them fit your sisters situation, so I wouldn`t read too much into the cancer thing. She should see a doctor though, it sounds like she has a few complications and I`m sure her smoking weed won`t come up with the doctor.
Reply:i personally don't think yahoo is the best place to ask about that. as someone mentioned before, it'd be better if you went to see a doctor with her.
Reply:im sure a doctor can diagnose your sister a lot better then a random medical search. i hope your parents have brought her to a hospital.
Reply:I am no doctor, but I doubt very seriously that these symptoms are from the weed smoking, though I am not convinced that it is helping matters any. I do believe there is a serious ailment going on here, and she should be taken to a disease specialist in your area, you very well could be right in thinking this is cancer, this is just an uneducated guess, but you have a right to be concerned. I wish you and your family the best in this situation.

Leaving university after 1 week due to illness help.?

2010-04-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

This past week I left a private university after five days. Prior to entering the university, I had spent a summer will a severe mental illness and social phobia. I had gotten help for an eating disorder for five years prior to this as well. Having not having a support system this past summer, it got worse. My parents, ignoring the lashing out,crying, and talk of suicide this past summer, believing it solely to be based on nerves, sent me to college when September 1 arrived. After entering college, I was depressed and sucidal, thinking everyone was looking at me, I tried to make friends but when I looked someone in the eye I lost all of my words and broke out in a sweat. I spent 4 days in my room alone not wanting to live. So, two days ago, I left for home. Now, I have decided to attend the local community college, get help from therapists and focus on getting better and hopefully transfer to another school when I'm ready.Was this the right thing to do?

Leaving university after 1 week due to illness help.?
You have to do what you think is best. You are the one living this way not anyone else. Keep in mind that you have to face your fears in order to over come them. You can't run away every time it gets to be too much. Work on yourself one step at a time. Do your best and that's good enough! I'm glad to hear you have someone to talk to. You really need that. Please don't bottle things up. It will only make things worse.

Good job for trying to further yourself even though you have a problem. Remember, you are not the only person who lives this way. You are not an outcast or a freak. We all have different problems in life, the difference is the way we handle it. I wish you the best of luck, someone needs you to be around. You are here for a reason. :)
Reply:As long as you are seeking professional help, yes.
Reply:yes
Reply:This was a good move. You will be able to fell safe while going to therapy and sorting out some issues while being able to get an education.
Reply:So may people treat those of us with mental illness as an outcast or freak. Its the same as diabetes or a heart condition. We take our medication, see our therapist, and cope with our daily lives. I am really sorry your parents weren't able to recognize how ill you were when they sent you to school. Now, you should concentrate on getting better, and then worry about your schooling. As far as your friends. if they don't want to understand what you are going through with your illness, then find different friends. There really are compassionate people in the world!

Good luck and take care of you!

Dee
Reply:I think so. Even community college might be difficult to manage right now, you may want to consider starting part time or holding off a semester. Your mental health is most important and it is very hard (in my experience) to manage college when you are very unstable and symptomatic. I've been in and out of college at least half a dozen times because of it...if I learned anything from that it is: if you need to withdraw for the semester, do so as soon as possible and through the proper procedure. I didn't do this and have ended up with an F or 2 because of that and also screwed up my financial aid. It's ok now, but I really made a mess of it for a while and look back and see how much time I wasted and also how close I would come to finishing a class and then just wouldn't and would get no credit at all.

College is stressful any way you look at it, and highly stressful times are major triggers for the return or worsening of psych symptoms. I think it is great that you recognize what is going on and have decided to get some help to get back on your feet. And you will get back on your feet. Just don't give up, don't lose sight of what you want to do in life. The road is often longer for those of us with serious mental illness and sometimes takes us in all sorts of random directions, but you just have to keep getting back up when in knocks you down because eventually that determination will get you to where you want to be. And I don't mean this in a "pull yourself up by the bootstraps and get over it" kind of way...anybody who lives with mental illness knows it does not work that way...

I just know that I have been knocked down (and very unwell) so many times...;while it's happening it feels like it is aall I have ever known and will ever know...but that is the illness talking...and at some point, I find the will to brush myself off and get back up (sometimes this takes longer than others).

I honestly feel you did the right (and wise) thing. Otherwise, you most likely would have been overwhelmed and miserable and from the experience your feelings about school would shift, leaving a lasting bad taste in your mouth.

I wish you luck and peace. I know this is a hard place to be. Concentrate on getting well...school will still be there when you are ready. Don't beat yourself up for your decision to go home...sometimes what is right for us is not what we want...but somehow we know it is what we need to do.

As for what other people think...I understand what you are saying, that it does matter to you. And that is OK. You are sick right now, that is all people need to know. If you are not comfortable sharing the details, then don't. It is nobody elses business anyway.

One final thought...when you are in school, you can become classified as a student with a disability and the school, by law, has to provide reasonable accomodations if you should need them (such as testing in a private room, more time on assignments, etc).
Reply:Do you feel it was the right thing to do? Your opinion is the most important here. I understand what you're saying about caring about what other people think...I do too. Me, personally I think you made the right decision. Yes, there are a lot of nerves and anxiety associated with college, but it sounds like yours were well beyond what would be "normal" anxiety about college. You are making a good choice to go see therapists because you were depressed and suicidal. College is a very stressful environment...a lot of people (who are predisposed to mental illness through their genetics) develop mental illnesses in college because the stress brings them out. Right now it sounds like you need to be in a supportive, familiar environment. Go to community college and get your core classes done...that way when you transfer to another college, you'll be able to take classes more focused on your major. I know you're concerned about what people will think of you...if anyone asks, just tell them you had some personal stuff to sort out and needed to come home. You don't have to say anything else. Not everyone is ready to go off to college a few months after they graduate from high school. Just focus on taking care of yourself, working through your issues, and then think about if you're ready to transfer to another school. Take your time...it's okay. Hope this helps.
Reply:So far yes esp the fact that you are trying to do something about it.

There is nothing wrong with taking a break from things or even detour your career/education prospects temporarily.

If it's too embarrassing you don't have to tell anyone esp outside fam what's been really going on. You can say that you wanted to explore different options, or that you did not have enough fiancial backing to survive on campus, even you wanted to take a short break from really intense schooling or that high school (if you came direct from it) after awhile turned you off academics for awhile. There are many generic excuses you could find as many do experience variety of negative things that discourage them at the time to continue their life paths and know that others don't need to know why it really happened - unless it really really impacted others. It'll be hard at times but keep to your plan and you will come out of it ok and ready to transfer to the other school later on.

periwinkle

Lifelong nightmares?

2010-04-24T07:45:00.000-07:00

I've had nightmares for as long as I can remember (2 years old). They are often extremely violent and deal with death (I don't watch horror films or anything scary). I remember them all. I wake up drenched in sweat (my sheets, too), my joints hurt from tensing, I'm exhausted from having them and feel like I haven't slept at all. I've had upwards of 5 in one night -- I've had to call out from work the next day because it's made me feel like I was hit by a truck. Lately, even, I've bruised myself in my sleep from my body stiffening. I sometimes have flashbacks during the day to nightmares I've had years ago. I saw a sleep specialist who insisted it was not a sleep disorder but just anxiety-based. I'm not sure I agree with his diagnosis.

Lifelong nightmares?
I got terrible nightmares from taking Seroquel for schizophrenia. I dreamed wild dogs ate my friends and I could actually smell their dead bodies, what was left of them. That's just one example. I can relate to your problem. I was afraid to go to sleep, even during the day.

My psychiatrist prescribed Imipramine 50 mg just for nightmares. After a few weeks my nightmares were gone. Now I only get them about twice a year, which is normal instead of every night.

Perhaps you could ask your doctor if this medication would help you and maybe you would need a higher dose. I didn't have any side effects, but you could ask your pharmacist for a printout of the possible side effects, so you would be aware of what to watch for. Good luck!
Reply:If you don't agree with the diagnosis, have you thought of getting a second opinion?

Apparently our unconscious thoughts, feelings and sometimes fears can come out when we sleep. Some people who were abused in childhood have nightmares and it can take years for them to understand that the nightmares are linked to something they didn't remember. (Just an example, not saying you were!)

Maybe if you see a counsellor you might be able to work out if there is an underlying cause to the nightmares, or maybe even try hypnosis? That way you'd be in a dream-like state and the doctor may be able to spot any patterns and get to the root cause.

Good luck!
Reply:night mares reflects your internal feelings like fear,sadness,anger if this is the case you need to relax do yoga or even go to a schrinck and if you are christian praying before sleep and going to church is really the cure
Reply:Ask another doctor (a psychiatrist), not a bunch of 14-years-old geeks!
Reply:You should talk to a doctor who studies sleep disorders. Maybe that doc can tell you what might be causing the nightmares and what you can do to prevent them.
Reply:Sounds like Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). There is a medication called Trazadone to help get rid of those nighmares. It helped me.
Reply:There are two main types of therapy that could help:

1.Hypnosis. An experienced hypnotherapist can help you not only deal with your phobia but also with your bad dreams. He or she should be able to help you re-programme your dreams so that they have different and less horrific story lines. For a therapist near you email the National Council for Hypnotherapy: nch@bowolds.u-net.com.

2.Behavioural and Cognitive/Behavioural therapists are also good at dealing with phobias. You can email their organisation, the British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies (info@ babcp.org.uk), for details of a therapist in your area.

You will most probably have to pay for such treatment privately, but treatment of phobias is not a lengthy process and you should see very good results almost immediately.
Reply:Just change the way you sleep. dreams are more likely if you sleep on your back flat. during this the flow is breath is mostly in both nostrils. this causes thoughts to be accessed from deep memory, where fear and doubt are stored.

try to sleep on the left side if you are a girl or right side if you are a boy.

this will generate the necessary environment in the mental level to get good nights sleep.

Just before you go to sleep remember to wash your face and especially the inside of your nostrils with cool water.

always get up from the bed with your side in which the flow of breath is flowing.

Good night sleep.

come back and tell me your problem is solved.

Can anyone top these from another country?

2010-04-24T07:44:00.001-07:00

Don't know if you've seen these before but some are pretty funny

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and

Are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm

while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY:You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that

morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different

attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a

deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on

Dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like

to rephrase that?

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go

to?

WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a

pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,

nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law.

ONLY IN America !

Can anyone top these from another country?
Right on! I spit beer all over my screen! Funny stuff!

Are people who suffer from night terrors really just possessed by the devil?

2010-04-24T07:44:00.000-07:00

In a typical episode, you will sit up in bed and pierce the night with a "blood-curdling" scream or shout. This scream can include kicking and thrashing. You may say or shout things that others are unable to understand. You will also have a look of intense fear with eyes wide open and heart racing. You may also sweat, breathe heavily and be very tense. At times, you may even bolt out of bed and run around the house. This response is more common in adults. It may also lead to violent actions

http://www.sleepeducation.com/Disorder.a...

is this proof of satan's control over people? or just another medical mystery that people could equate with satan because we don't have the answers yet?

Are people who suffer from night terrors really just possessed by the devil?
Possessed by the devil? Real scientific answer. With the intricate and complex interaction of the mind, it is so logical that it would be something to do with that. Possession has no place in modern medicine.
Reply:Um, NO!

Crediting something like this to demonic activity is wrong.
Reply:very few night terrors emanate from satan
Reply:Demon possession is hardly a scientifically sound diagnosis. Not saying it isn't possible, but definitely not scientific.

I'm sure that there is a perfectly rational physiological reason for about 99% of the cases, that we will discover over time.
Reply:No its a psychological problem.

Besides what would make you think its the devil? How do you know its not god he brings far far far more destruction and terror on people in the bible then Satan does and heck Satan had to ask for permission before he could do anything.
Reply:No, I really don't think so.
Reply:No, if a person is a Christian he cannot be possessed by the devil, but he can be oppressed. The bible tells us as Christians we have the power to bind and loose in Jesus name.
Reply:A Deliverance Ministry will cast out this spirit immediately. It is the spirit of fear.

Scripture: "Perfect love cast out fear because fear has torment."
Reply:Yes, they are clearly possessed. It's obvious.
Reply:read the book called the screw tape letters see if your dreams stop
Reply:It was stated that demon possession had no place in medicine. How about medicine practiced in other parts of the world.

Maybe Americans are ego centric, thinking the world evolves around them and acclaimed "critical thinking" and logic.
Reply:I have night terrors and it's all due to the anxiety that you have in your life. Your brain doesn't let go of it! I also like to watch horror movies and court t.v. so I have to be careful of not consuming too much of it because I will start dreaming it.
Reply:It stems from a person's deep seated fear of life itself...my husband's grandma would do that and she was the most fearful person I have ever met...she either crippled everyone around her with this fear or drove them away from her...she was a tyrant with her fear...she would scream out and fight in the middle of the night, all in her sleep...she was her own demon...
Reply:let me tell you a story:

there was once this little boy that had awful night terrors. his mother, a fundamentalist Christian, did what any fundamentalist would do; she took him to a Christian therapist (read quack) instead of a trained medical professional. This quack advocated a theory of "demon oppression" as an explanation for the night terrors, effectively confirming the existence of the bogey-man for this 6 year old kid.

it was never thought or discussed that the cause might be because the kids mom left the kid at home with babysitters all night long (or sometimes even alone) because the mom worked graveyard shift.

i was that kid. that was my mom. and your Christian friends do more harm to children than your fictitious Satan ever could.
Reply:Did you ever hear of a little thing called the witch trials? An inquiry lead by ignorant fools that held numerous well to do people accountable for all the problems occurring at the time. In reality it was a ploy to attain their land. But you have to understand that it was devout religious individuals, like I'm guessing you are, that condemned their neighbors so quickly for things that later science proved were common physical or psychological ailments. Fanaticism is the veil of ignorance.

Ps

I think the devil would have better things to do with his time than to personally possess someone that has no political influence.
Reply:You are describing a kind of epileptic episode, darling. Epileptic fits often occur in the night and sometimes look like this. Epilepsy is related to disordered electrical neural firing in the brain --not demons.

There also is a disorder called REM sleep behavior disorder (often seen in people with certain neurodegenerative diseases like Parkinson disease) in which the chemicals and neurons in the brain that keep the body still while asleep don't work--so people act out their dreams, which tend to be nightmarish. Sometimes they can seriously hurt themselves or their bed partners. They are wholly unconscioius during these episodes.

Neither epilepsy nor REM sleep behavior disorder or night terrors or sleep paralysis are medical "mysteries" and they are definitely not caused by demons. They are caused by neurochemical and neuroelectrical imbalances caused by genetic, environmental, and lifestyle factors.
Reply:I would say the majority of religious people blame the devil for all things they have no understanding of. Fear is a very powerful thing!
Reply:Night terrors are caused by intense adrenaline production during the upward chemical release during a REM cycle. It happens with small children quite frequently during growth spurts or periods of stress...sometimes if they are exhausted or sleeping in the heat. The adrenaline rush is registered by the brain as "fear" and a dream, most of the time a rapid succession of dreams,which are often forgotten along with the reason they awoke, will formulate and fear or "terror" is experianced even though the images themselves were not frightening. They will fall right back to a peaceful sleep. The opposite of this is night paralysis where a dream occurs and the adrenaline is released on the downward cycle of the REM sequence and a person will be partially conscious and undergo the sensation of not being able to move while experiencing a full dream sequence...dreaming you are awake but stuck in a dream...weird stuff like that...It has nothing to do with being possessed by a devil. Most of the time these types of sleep issues are rare but occur due to stress, exhuastion or chemical imbalances for various reasons. Anything that is not of God is of the devil...Satan has all kinds of methods to influence our lives and impact us in various different ways but demon possession is an extreme occurance and shouldn't be attributed to everyday "bad" stuff that can happen to someone. Its an imperfect, crazy screwed up world we live in and due the circumstances of being the devils playground this is just one small indicator, a drop in the bucket, of how much we need God. After all, who glorifies God when we have a euphorical bliss filled dream of exhileration. I experience those from time to time and often the dreams are filled with color, vivid scenes of beauty and problem resolving solutions...of course I can never remember what the solution was when I wake up..but I never let that detract from having such an awesome dream. Love in Christ, ~J~ P. S. if you are having issues...listen to christian radio/music before you fall asleep, pray and read your Bible. I do...
Reply:This is a great example of something that is misunderstood that is equated to a religious experience. It is my opinion that religion was invented by man to explain the unexplained and this is a prime example of that.

Too bad nobody really got the point...
Reply:Since there is no such thing as god or satan (god, supposedly being all-powerful wouldn't allow satan to assault a sleeping human...that would be unchristian of him), I'd say that there is a reasonable physiological explanation for this phenomenon.

Whatever you do, don't listen to christian radio before you sleep or you might actually induce the night terrors..
Reply:I am a christian and I believe Night Terrors are a medical issue...Poor People...we all experience Bad dreams, but for those who experience Night terrors, it is much worse.

Just an opinion.
Reply:God I hope not... my 11 yr. old son suffers from them, not so much anymore but when he was younger, great just what i need right now in my life... a kid possessed by a demon... will it ever, ever end... this nightmare of my life.... LOL
Reply:If it is possession then it has a really strange demon attached to it. I have had the same night terror for years and finally went to a therapist who proscribed Elavil. Can we say... cured?

I'm a Pagan and a Witch and like everyone else I have had my personal demons to exorcise!
Reply:Tell the voices "NO" lol
Reply:No it doesn't.
Reply:No I don't think so. They suffer from night because is brain has bad things inside and when his brain are resting all memories can be revival.
Reply:just another medical mystery that people could equate with Satan because we don't have the answers yet
Reply:Absolutely not. People have fears and they can emerge as night terrors..big deal. Reality sets in, they know they are safe and God is in control. Possession? you've got to be kidding.
Reply:Nightmares are just people with active brains, or maybe under stress. Everything we think about during the day or some thing that happened to us, comes back to us all jumbled up into one big nightmare,just the brain letting off steam so to speak. Also people have a choice who they will follow. Sure if a person right into doing Satanic rites and things, yes I would say Satan who knows, weirer things has happened to people.
Reply:NO THERE ARE VARIOUS OTHER FACTORS

============================

It is definitely not Devil.

Occassionally I have very wild and scary dreams, I am shuddered as I feel someone is asphyxiating me. I struggle to free myself, in the dream that is. I wake up shuddered and then I realize that my hand is numb because I was keeping it as a pillow and the blood circulation was affected.

There are other factors like geographical and security concerns.

Anyway it need not be devlish or psychological.

Funny court stuff part 1of 3?

2010-04-24T07:43:00.001-07:00

These are from a book called Disorder in the

American Courts, and are

things people actually said in court, word for word,

taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying

calm while th ese exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of

something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said

to you that morning?

WITN ESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been

involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,

he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Funny court stuff part 1of 3?
that is soooooo funny!!!!

are you serious, they are real?

wow!!!

i really liked them!!!

lol!!!

cheers!!!

have a star!!!
Reply:HAHA! Lol those are funny =]

night blooming cereus

Why am i so thirsty?

2010-04-24T07:43:00.000-07:00

i am 6 in a half months pregnant with twins and for the last 3 months i have drank nothing but aquafina water i added it up and i drink 1 in a half gallons plus 13 ounces roughly a day i just cant stop drinking it i try not to soo much but then i just sit there thirsty no i dont smoke the only medication i take is heparin for a blood clotting disorder but i have taken it before and didnt have these side effects please help me oh yeah and no i dont sweat alot or really exercise lol thank you

Why am i so thirsty?
I am NOT a doctor, so don't get too worked up either way, but you might check with your doctor to see if you have gestational diabetes. Persistent thirst is a symptom of diabetes.

You probably don't, of course, but even if you did, it's not nearly so bad for you or the baby as it sounds. See a doctor.
Reply:Maybe you have gestational diabetes or something---have you told your doctor about this? you SHOULD... there are blood tests you can take. A gallon and a half is WAY too much to be drinking per day even carrying TWINS. Insationable thirst CAN be a sign of diabetes but don't worry about it until you talk to the doctor... but DO call him as soon as you can to get in to see him.

This is to LINDSEY below me----changing WHAT you drink won't help ----it's the AMOUNT of fluids she is drinking whether it be water, juice or soda---ANY fluids that are taken in in the quantity the questioner is taking them in CAN be dangerous--NO MATTER WHAT THE DRINK IS.
Reply:I would see a doctor pronto. I hope that you are urinating as much as you are taking in because if you aren't, that is a cause for concern. You really need to be drinking something else besides water because even too much water can kill you (try something like juices that are low in sugar, and orange juice, or gatorade). You might also have something called Gestational Diabetes, it isn't too bad, it is just a type of diabetes that people get when they are pregnant. It is seen with three things extreme thirst, extreme urination, and extreme hunger. It is treated by insulin. This usually goes away after one gives birth to their children and is caused by stress on the mother's body during pregnancy (pancreas cannot pull the workload) It could be a number of things that you really need medical advice on. Probably nothing bad, hopefully. But I would make an appointment soon.
Reply:Have you been checked for diabetes? That usually is warning sign for early diabetes is extreme thirst.Along with extreme hunger,dry skin,nausea,blurred vision and drowsiness. which can be masked by pregnacy.

This is not about me, I'm a female, but I got a question about my male friend who thinks he has?

2010-04-24T07:42:00.001-07:00

Hormone Imbalance. I read online that it's ONLY for women. Is this true? He said it's because his voice is getting softer....his testicles are shrinking, he's not growing facial, or armpit hair anymore and he said his 'breast' are growing and are sore. Now I know this can be Gender Identity Disorder. But I don't think it's possible for a guy to just all of a sudden get 38C boobs. He said he also wears womens underwear and he sweats a lot so he doesn't like to get them sweaty so he wears pads....wouldn't the pads hurt his penis? I really don't believe him, because he's REALLY dramatic and he's ALWAYS finding a way to get noticed. He doesn't sound like a girl and he doesn't act like a girl. Also, I'm 17 and I'm possibly pregnant (two take home test came out positive.) I told him this and he got upset....saying I was bragging! He's my (was) best friend, I thought he should know I may be pregnant. Can someone help me here, is it possible? And is it possible for testicles to shrink?

This is not about me, I'm a female, but I got a question about my male friend who thinks he has?
Ok, as soon as you said he wears women's underwear and wears pads, you made it clear that he wants to be a woman. That has nothing to do with breast growth, sweating, facial hair, etc. If he REALLY has these issues (which I'm doubting because you said he's really over dramatic and attention-seeking) then he should go see his doctor and get some blood work.
Reply:this could also be known as Pure Estrogen when the outlook is a male but the inside is female or vice versa
Reply:I think your friend should go to the Dr. and see why he has these problems.
Reply:It is possible that your friend is suffering from a hormone imbalance. He really needs to see a doctor to have this checked out.

And yes it is possible for the testicles to shrink.

Your friend really needs some professional medical advice.
Reply:It sounds like he is a homosexual still in the closet, wearing girls panties, with pads, he has a girls mind you said he got jealous when you told him you might be pregnant sounds like he's gay.
Reply:He could like to be a woman more than a man in a physical way. To do this he could be on steroids, they do everything you listed, and make men a bit more built. ask him if he is on steroids

Where are all the lawyers, then??

2010-04-24T07:42:00.000-07:00

Taken from "Disorder in the Court" - True dialogues.

Case 1:

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks

Case2:

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan. :)

Case 3:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law !!

Where are all the lawyers, then??
main difference between lawyers and doctors:

doctors leave you alone when you are dead....

and..

why don't sharks attack lawyers?

professional courtesy!! (ha ha)
Reply:Case 3 is great!!

have heard of the book but not read it. True, true, where ARE the lawyers!! lol
Reply:Get into law school to find out.
Reply:I knew lawyers to be time-wasters, corrupt and petty - now i can add stupid, too.

What's getting to "Law School" got to do with anything???

Courtroom Humor?

2010-04-24T07:41:00.000-07:00

These gems are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place

Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.

_______________________________

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

______________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

_____________________________________

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

_____________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

______________________________________

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

___________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

_____________________________________

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

______________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

______________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

______________________________________

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

______________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

______________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere

Courtroom Humor?
very funny :)

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http://www.indiabook.com/jokes/entertain...

Please visit the above pages to find different variety of jokes. I hope, it helps u in making u laugh. Enjoy and have fun..
Reply:ROTFLMAO! Hysterically funny, especially the last one and the one before it.
Reply:The good ol' American educational system strikes again!!
Reply:lol thats funny stuff american courts send some of them officials to canada
Reply:loved it It sounds familiar.
Reply:love the last one
Reply:good ones
Reply:It's like it gets worse all the time, doesn't it?!

I wouldn't have been able to keep from laughing if I would have been there and heard it. Good ones!
Reply:it was HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... so so so so so FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!! i laughed all the way through!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:Yep. LOL.

orchid cactus

Funny Joke?

2009-11-20T03:57:00.000-08:00

These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts." They are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who endured the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there.

Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

****************************

Funny Joke?
lolz. good joke. thank you. and thank you for these two points also!
Reply:not funny! i was diagnosed with MG at age 11 so this joke is not funny at all.... i find it offensive.... thanks for making my life better with this "awsome" joke Report It

Reply:Yes funny, I've gotten that in a email before, that never gets old....
Reply:Thanks for the chuckle. If laughing is truly jogging for your insides, you just helped me run a marathon!
Reply:that's just freakin hilarious ha ha ha still can't stop laughing
Reply:John was in a bar looking very dejected.His friend,Steve,walked over and asked,"What's wrong?" "It's my mother-in-law,"John replied,while shaking his head sadly.'Cheer up,"Steve said."Everyone has problems with their mother-in-law."'Yeah,"John answered."But I got mine pregnant."
Reply:those first couple were funny. i liked it overall though. nice job. i give it 4 stars
Reply:$$ Here's some Jokes 4 ya,$$

- What kind of cheese isn't yours?

Nacho Cheese!

------------------------------...

- What do you call a smelly teletubby?

Stinky Winky!

------------------------------...

- Why did the witch put a watch at the end of her broom stick?

Cuz she wanted time to fly.

------------------------------...

- Doctor, Doctor !! My irregular heartbeat is really frightening me.

Don't worry - we'll soon put a stop to it!

------------------------------...

- Why did the duck try to cross the road?

to show his girlfriend he had guts

------------------------------...

- the 7 dwarfs were in the tub feeling happy so happy got up and left!

------------------------------...

- Man comes into the bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is in bed with cold cream on and wearing curlers. "Honey," the man announces, "this is the pig I sleep with when you have a headache."

The wife looks annoyed and says, "You old fool! That's a sheep."

The man replies, "You old fool! I wasn't talking to you!"

------------------------------...

- A marine and a soldier were driving down the same road, both talking on a phone. They got into a terrible crash, and there cars were totaled, but none of them got hurt. The marine produced a bottle of alcohol and said:"Well, we're both to blame and we're okay, so why don't we drink this bottle of wine and bury the hatchet?" The soldier said okay, so the marine gave him the bottle and he drank half of it and offered it to the marine. The marine said:" I'll wait for the cops to show up first."

------------------------------...

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly

46. love shopping

47. be honest

48. be very rich

49. not stress her out

50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:

* birthdays

* anniversaries

* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked

2. Bring beer %26amp; food
Reply:good jokes im gunna die of laughter
Reply:very funny....hehehe....how abt this one:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening the front door. "Hurry!" she said, "stand in the corner." She quickly rubbed baby oil all over him and then she dusted him with talcum powder. "Dont move until I tell you to," she whispered. "Just pretend youre a statue."

"Whats this, honey?" the husband inquired as he entered the room. "Oh, its just a statue," she replied nonchalantly. "The Smiths bought one for their bedroom. I liked it so much, I got one for us too."

No more was said about the statue, not even later that night when they went to sleep. Around two in the morning the husband got out of bed, went to the kitchen and returned a while later with a sandwich and a glass of milk.

"Here," he said to the statue, "eat something. I stood like an idiot at the Smiths for three days and nobody offered me as much as a glass of water."
Reply:LOL. Thank you. Have a great evening.

These are actual facts! Makes you think?

2009-11-20T03:56:00.002-08:00

Courtroom Humour

These gems are from a book called Disorder in the Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?

A: No, I just lie there.

_______________________________

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July 15.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

______________________________________

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

_____________________________________

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

_____________________________________

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

______________________________________

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

___________________________________

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

_____________________________________

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

______________________________________

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

______________________________________

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

______________________________________

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________________

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

______________________________________

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

______________________________________

Q: A L L your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

______________________________________

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

______________________________________

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

______________________________________

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

These are actual facts! Makes you think?
So funny, and yet, so true! I've heard all of these before, but they still make me chuckle.
Reply:grimeny!
Reply:Those are great.
Reply:Most chucklesome, but all of them were very old jokes, and I doubt if they have any basis in reality!
Reply:LOL good ones.
Reply:Glad you saved the last one for last. That's my favorite.
Reply:♥ ♥ yep can you imagine some people like that run our businesses...and our court system ♥ ♥
Reply:Good question. Here's what you do, and you need to do it immediately:

1) Don't Panic

2) Leave the area of the fire

3) Stop

4) Drop

5) Roll

6) Call 911

7) Bow to the applauding patrons

8) Ask the waiter for your check.
Reply:Love it, love it, love it!!!

Especially the last one!

I am a trade union advocate...wish i got some of these questions!!!
Reply:lol... that is so hilarious. I was laughing my as.s off.... Even the most professional people are idiotic...
Reply:Superb! Well done for tracking those down!

My favourite! . . .

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Reply:This was cool, I really enjoyed reading it, thanks!
Reply:Oh Now Those Were Good

10/10
Reply:That's so funny.
Reply:magnificent, that is classic. i bet there are many more far worse ones!
Reply:Thats just funny
Reply:Yes funny funny stuff!!
Reply:omg that stuff is absolutely ridiculous. i almost died just reading those.
Reply:i love em all... lmao. geez... people sure can be stupid eh. theres no way i could have kept a straight face. thanks for the many laughs.

where the hell did you find these anyhow.
Reply:Nothing is funnier than REAL LIFE!

L O L Can you believe it?????
Reply:those were all hilarious i can't believe people don't think before they speak
Reply:SPot on love em!!!
Reply:this was AWESOME!! 10/10
Reply:i had a really bad day today and those just made me laugh
Reply:OMG... LMFAO... I am so gonna get written up by my boss... hell I don't care... it was worth it... I needed that so bad... thanks for the laugh... = )
Reply:am jst getting the points here.

a question: where exactly did the question come in?

that stuff is too wierd to be true- am dropping out. i was going to be a lawyer-SYKE!!!
Reply:Those were brill!
Reply:nice, very nice...
Reply:i would love to go to court and hear them say things like this...lol good one, 15/10
Reply:haha.... theyre all good.
Reply:i thought this was for questions

Legal Eagles?

2009-11-20T03:56:00.001-08:00

Subject: Legal Eagles

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you

forgot?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that

morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his

sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you #*%^@ %) me?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you #@%*%26amp;$ @ me? Your Honor, I think I need a

different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a

deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like

to rephrase that?

____________ __________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go

to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy on him!

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for

a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you

began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive,

nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and

practicing law.

Legal Eagles?
These are hilarious. How can people be so stupid?
Reply:Funny
Reply:Funny in a since!
Reply:hahahahahahahahahahaaa

still rolling on the floor. my co-workers think am nuts. thanks.

star for u. the last one was really the best

more than that
Reply:Those are priceless!!

You have to love the thought (or lack there of) some of these attorneys put into there questions.
Reply:LoL! A good collection. :D
Reply:ha! ha!! that was really funny..are those real? hehe..so funny to be true
Reply:VERY FUNNY!!!!!%26lt; Had Me Cracking Up!!! (LOL)
Reply:kinda long and hav heard em all before but still good
Reply:Lol! I wish I had been there :)

Is it cancer????

2009-11-20T03:56:00.000-08:00

here are teh symptoms

first i start rambling in my ears now its gone

muscle twitching

numbness

laziness

stomach growling

gas problem escpecially at night

mucus was a problem but not now

no headach

no fever

no blood from any where

bowl is not gud

i have been to doc he was sayin that u got alergy gave me pilss work just a lil biit for me

before this happens i smoke for abt 5 months now its been 2 months i quit the smoke and i got a hight rated tention for abt 3 times before this problem happenes no sweats sleeeping is goood eating is no problem but somethims i need to catch up my breath by burping and yawning -neck stiffness from sides---sometimes i got pain when i breath hard into the stomach like place but thats only for 3 minuts-jaw got hard at night got eye numbness buut not now--stiff nose--------any sugestions --- === is it etreme anxity disorder---- or something to cure-------- iam worried seriosly

Is it cancer????
SYMPTOMS;

General;

-rapid lossof weight for no apparent reason

-loss of appetite

-tiredness

-severe,recurring headaches

-painin some cases, and usually in the late stages of the disease

Specific;

-the symptoms vary according to the organ or tissue involved.

THE 10 WARNING SIGNS;

-Unexplained bleeding or discharge from nipple, vagina (in between menstrual periods or after menopause), blood in the stool or urine (no pain when urinating )

-lump in the breast or any recent change detected in the breasts

-changed in bowel habits

-lump in the neck that was not previously present.

-persistent cough and blood stained sputum

-hoarseness of voice lasting for more than 2 weeks

-persistent discomfort or pain in the abdomen, difficulty in swallowing

-deafness or ringing noise in the ear

-a sore or ulcer that does not heal within 3weeks;

red/white patches in the mouth

-change in a mole or wart
Reply:Seriously, dude, watch some TV or something and quit contemplating your navel.

palm

Whts hapenin to me? llolzzzzzzzz?

2009-11-20T03:55:00.003-08:00

here are the symptoms

first i start rambling in my ears now its gone

muscle twitching

numbness

laziness

stomach growling

gas problem escpecially at night

mucus was a problem but not now

no headach

no fever

no blood from any where

bowl is not gud

i have been to doc he was sayin that u got alergy gave me pilss work just a lil biit for me

before this happens i smoke for abt 5 months now its been 2 months i quit the smoke and i got a hight rated tention for abt 3 times before this problem happenes no sweats sleeeping is goood eating is no problem but somethims i need to catch up my breath by burping and yawning -neck stiffness from sides---sometimes i got pain when i breath hard into the stomach like place but thats only for 3 minuts-jaw got hard at night got eye numbness buut not now--stiff nose--------any sugestions --- === is it etreme anxity disorder---- or something to cure-------- iam worried seriosly

Whts hapenin to me? llolzzzzzzzz?
go to doc again and tell him that the pills didnt really help. explain to him what the prob really is.
Reply:just go to a doctor!!!!
Reply:Check your blood sugar.
Reply:In spite of all of this, i would say nothing is wrong with you - nearly everyone has some combination of these symptoms from time to time. It sounds like worst thing you have is post-nasal drip, and maybe indigestion. Quit worrying about this and spend the time taking a walk for 20 minutes instead.

Is it cancer????

2009-11-20T03:55:00.002-08:00

here are teh symptoms

first i start rambling in my ears now its gone

muscle twitching

numbness

laziness

stomach growling

gas problem escpecially at night

mucus was a problem but not now

no headach

no fever

no blood from any where

bowl is not gud

i have been to doc he was sayin that u got alergy gave me pilss work just a lil biit for me

before this happens i smoke for abt 5 months now its been 2 months i quit the smoke and i got a hight rated tention for abt 3 times before this problem happenes no sweats sleeeping is goood eating is no problem but somethims i need to catch up my breath by burping and yawning -neck stiffness from sides---sometimes i got pain when i breath hard into the stomach like place but thats only for 3 minuts-jaw got hard at night got eye numbness buut not now--stiff nose--------any sugestions --- === is it etreme anxity disorder---- or something to cure-------- iam worried seriosly

Is it cancer????
Thats too serious..

1st stage Cancer...go see you General Practitioner...

once that reaches 2nd Stage Cancer it could lead to serious death...
Reply:i sufferfrom an a anxiety disorder. it is the worst feeling in the world. your mind and body plays tricks on you, if you think you are sick, you are. do you think you are going to die everyday, and get into a car accident every time you drive. anxiety disorders are very scary because they have been known to cause tumors and some forms of cancer because we are literally stressed out all day for no good reason. I have been getting better over the past couple years. just talk to a therapist and get your mind off of everything and think nothing but good thoughts. Yoga is a life saver.

Do you believe this happened in America ?

2009-11-20T03:55:00.001-08:00

These are from a book called "Disorder in the Court."

These are things people actually said in (an American) court, word for word:

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteenth.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

--------------------------------------...

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

--------------------------------------...

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

--------------------------------------...

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you.

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

--------------------------------------...

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

--------------------------------------...

Q: And where was the location of the accident?

A: Approximately milepost 499.

Q: And where is milepost 499?

A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

--------------------------------------...

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?

A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

--------------------------------------...

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?

A: After the accident?

Q: Before the accident.

A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

--------------------------------------...

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult?

A: We both do.

Q: Voodoo?

A: We do.

Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.

--------------------------------------...

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?

A: Yes.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: What did she say?

A: What disco am I at?

--------------------------------------...

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

--------------------------------------...

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

--------------------------------------...

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

--------------------------------------...

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

--------------------------------------...

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

--------------------------------------...

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

--------------------------------------...

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

--------------------------------------...

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

--------------------------------------...

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

--------------------------------------...

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

--------------------------------------...

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

--------------------------------------...

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

--------------------------------------...

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

--------------------------------------...

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you

check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Do you believe this happened in America ?
I really hope so. Wonderful, I wish I could give you ten points!. Not a loaded statement. I wish you well. Terry.
Reply:This is great! Thanks for brightening up my day by giving me a laugh!
Reply:Lol...I needed that!
Reply:Brilliant Susie. Brought a grin to my face and yep, it probably could ONLY happen in America. Thanks for the smiles you have given me.
Reply:No one said as a society we were brilliant!
Reply:hahahaha are you serious thats hilarious especially the voodoo one and the last one lol
Reply:Believe it? I live it! Yes, I believe it.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

-Albert Einstein
Reply:and some of these people are lawyers. scary, isn't it?
Reply:I've heard of all of these and variations in British Courts and Application forms and I have seen an application form with the box asking gender:

Sex? The answer was of course," Yes three times a week "

Needless to say after much laughter the form was amended very soon after the incident
Reply:I think one of those lawyer was mine. Mine ask me if I remember cars were involved in a one car accident
Reply:These are priceless!!! I'll be laughing for quite a while. I sent it to all my friends and relatives. Thanks for the great laugh this morning.
Reply:you think these were bad you only use the Scottish ones -- why not bring up the red neck ones from southern Georgia!!!
Reply:lol Thanks!
Reply:Yes, I can believe these questions and answers were given in courts in America. As the last one stated they are alive and practicing law somewhere, probably Washington, D.C. Have another well earned star!!!!
Reply:Aye, and a fine collection it be --- yo ho ho
Reply:bet it could happen in the UK too
Reply:Could you repeat the question!!! lol Oh, right--only in American would I believe it.
Reply:What was that question we had posted yesterday, that asked about common sense? Just goes to show you, not many people have it. Open mouth insert foot. Or as I prefer: Dumber than dirt.!!!! Sounds like redneck court.
Reply:Very funny thanks for that

This is really funny reading?

2009-11-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

WITNESS: Guess.

_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

______________________________________...

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?

______________________________________

--- And the best for last: ---

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

This is really funny reading?
Ha ha ha.!!!

That is Excellent so 10/10.!!!

Thanks for a laugh.!!!

Cheers Lady.!!
Reply:Thank you. Report It

Reply:LOL
Reply:LOVE IT, LOVE IT, LOVE IT! If I could give you a million stars I so would!
Reply:lol people actually said that? good one!!
Reply:LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Reply:lol these are great!
Reply:Fabulous! Great reading.
Reply:That is Excellent
Reply:Wow that was so good and no offence bt some people can be so dim sometimes!

xxxx
Reply:I laughed so hard while I was reading this that it made by baby cry!
Reply:hahahaha!! i love it
Reply:cool!
Reply:this is phucking awesome

i am holding back my laughter cuz i am sitting in a class
Reply:At one time I was thinking of being a court reporter. I wouldn't have been able to keep it together in these cases for sure. Now, I'm just hoping to proofread for court reporters. If I find funny stories like this, I'll post them.
Reply:HA HA

its such a totally blond thing to say

would give you more stars if i could but apart from one gold star here's some other ones *************************************
Reply:HA-larious!!!!!!!
Reply:Lol true or not, they are funny anyway

petunia

Had a crazy dream need serious help!!!?

2009-11-20T03:54:00.003-08:00

i have been diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. i don't know whether to blame my nightmare on this fact or not. i had a dream that my mom was beheaded. my dad was going beserk. and my heart was racing my head was hurting,and i woke up in a sweat. i cried for at least an hour and a half after i woke up and i could not get it off of my mind. it is really eating me up. PLEASE HELP!!!

Had a crazy dream need serious help!!!?
if you a dependant on ur parents in any way phiscally finanacially and /or emotionally this could represent how u feel about ur parnts meaning ur mother is the 1 who maintains she is the thinker manages ,keeps her head , shall we say in circumstances. ur father on the other hand is the provider he must maitain by being a stable %26amp; productive provider 4 the family. so our subconsious fears them losing thier parental assests hence ur dream
Reply:Take your meds.
Reply:The significance of a dream featuring the head, will also depend on the other details of the dream. But as a general guide, here are some interpretations:

A disembodied head predicts a new situation in which you will have to stay calm and "use your head."

If you dream of having part of your head missing, this is positive, because it means your achievements will be greater than you expect.

If you dream of having your head chopped off, you will be successful in life.

That's what i know for now, uhmm what's another word for beserk?

Funny questions/answers from a courtroom! (frikin hilarious!!) star if you liked it!?

2009-11-20T03:54:00.002-08:00

From a little book called "Disorder in the Court."

They're things people actually said in court, word for word.

Q: What is your date of birth?

A: July fifteen.

Q: What year?

A: Every year.

----------------------------------------...

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

----------------------------------------...

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

A: Yes.

Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

A: I forget.

Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?

----------------------------------------...

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?

A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

----------------------------------------...

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?

A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

----------------------------------------...

Q: And where was the location of the accident?

A: Approximately milepost 499.

Q: And where is milepost 499?

A: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

----------------------------------------...

Q: Sir, what is your IQ?

A: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

----------------------------------------...

Q: Did you blow your horn or anything?

A: After the accident?

Q: Before the accident.

A: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.

----------------------------------------...

Q: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?

A: Yes.

Q: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?

A: Yes, sir.

Q: What did she say?

A: What disco am I at?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about

it until the next morning?

----------------------------------------...

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Did he kill you?

----------------------------------------...

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

----------------------------------------...

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

----------------------------------------...

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

----------------------------------------...

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

----------------------------------------...

Q: She had three children, right?

A: Yes.

Q: How many were boys?

A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

----------------------------------------...

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?

A: Yes.

Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?

A: I went to Europe, Sir.

Q: And you took your new wife?

----------------------------------------...

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?

A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Can you describe the individual?

A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice

which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

----------------------------------------...

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

----------------------------------------...

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

----------------------------------------...

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an

autopsy.

----------------------------------------...

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

----------------------------------------...

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for blood pressure?

A: No.

Q: Did you check for breathing?

A: No.

Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began

the autopsy?

A: No.

Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

Q: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?

A: It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

----------------------------------------...

Q: You were not shot in the fracas?

A: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.

Funny questions/answers from a courtroom! (frikin hilarious!!) star if you liked it!?
hahahaha

they're really good

give us some more

please
Reply:Thanks for the laughs.
Reply:thumbs up
Reply:Yeah! You're right. I got a HUGE chuckle out of these... Thanks!
Reply:And this is what they go to Law School for ? !

Ha ha ha ( still chuckling ...)
Reply:I see this occasionally and it always gives me a good laugh
Reply:wow u really got me laughing that was hilarious;

thnx for the laughs

here is a star for ya

best luck:D
Reply:lawyers yup you gotta love them.
Reply:Haha! Good ones!
Reply:Thank you so much for making me grin - have a star!
Reply:STAR!
Reply:Lots of your jokes are funny LOL.

I'm feeling silly/kinda dumb! : /?

2009-11-20T03:54:00.001-08:00

OK...the problem with the memory loss, dizziness, vision disturbances, etc., is from a new drug I started for the nerves in my spine (LYRICA) which is awesome for the pain, but does have these side effects. The night sweats, fevers, swollen glands, nausea, severe sleepiness, feeling ill is NOT! All tests are normal, and I think I'm going to wait and see an internist to see what he says...I'm a lil worried as cancer runs in my family-my mom, 2 aunts, 2 uncles, grandmother, and grandfather...wow...especially lymphoma, and am not fitting the typical symptoms of an autoimmune disorder! I don't think chiropractic care is the best bet as I value the nerves I have there and I've done that route with horrific results...I'm seeking spinal sx for the spinal problems, but thank you for your advise. I know this is a different question, but I give the GI Doc total thumbs up on my first one for his advise! Thank you to all others for your help and concern!!!! :)

I'm feeling silly/kinda dumb! : /?
you shouldnt feel silly or dumb. i would be worried too.

i think its best that you go see an internist like you said.

you made the right choice.

i hope you are fine!

Mood swing?

2009-11-20T03:54:00.000-08:00

I think i have mood swing and it happened a long time ago. I would feel happy for one moment then the next minute i feel terribly sad. I would suddenly feel very insecure and when i'm outside, i just wanna go home and when i'm home, i wanna go out. I have sleeping disorder and everytime i wake up, i would feel dizzy for a moment. I'm also sensitif to change of tempreture and i can't stand cold. I have cold hands and feet and also sweat a lot. I'm always not in good terms with my family. I like to be alone and when i'm alone i think nonsence like i wanna be a mafia, i wanna be a drug dealer and those sort of things. But i won't do all those things. I would feel angry suddenly without knowing why or who i'm angry at. I also fell anxious all of a sudden and my heart would beat really fast and hard that my ribs kind of hurt. My stomach is always growling and every morning i would fell very hungry and still remain hungry after i've eaten. Can anybody tell me what my real prob is?

Mood swing?
I think you pretty much identified your problem. Your actually probably just becoming a teenager more and more. Many if not millions of teenagers think weird thoughts and even say them. I go through lots of hormonal mood changes during the day. Maybe you should check out the govteen.com website. They know all about puberty and wierd stuff like this. Truly you don't really have a problem. You're just becoming someone.
Reply:I dont think this is something that can be diagnosed on Yahoo Answers. You should see your doctor, he/she can refer you to someone who can help you. It sounds like more than just mood swings. Good luck.

mint

Abdominal pain for 4 weeks accompanied with emesia and diarrhea--To request etiological factor and treatment?

2009-11-20T03:53:00.003-08:00

A 57-year-old male was admitted to our hospital on May 4th ,2007 for abdominal pain for four weeks accompanied with emesia and diarrhea. The clinical findings are listed in Table 1.

Past medical history and general state of health:

The patient’s past medical history was significant for spinal stenosis about two years ago, accompanied with the symmetry pain of limbs arthrosis for one year. He denied other systemic diseases and any surgical history, as well as family history of genetic disorder. Before the onset of the disease ,the patient had the history of exposure to a small amount of acetone(He is a aircraft mechanic). He denied the history of exposure to special food ,drug and toxicant.

Since the pathogenesis , the patient has no fever and night sweat, no skin petechia and skin rashes .There is a 2.5 kg weight loss recently.

Medical examination:

Left lower quadrant and superior belly had scattered tendernesses, no rebound tenderness. Other examinations were negative.

Table 1 Clinical manifestations of the patient:

Main clinical manifestations abdominal pain : Started left lower abdomen pain ,and then emerging superior belly pain, accompanied with nausea

frequent emesia : Vomiting after eating a little food, and Vomitus were a small amount of stomach contents

chronic diarrhea : watery stool, and there were no mucus ,pus and blood in the stool. More than 10 times a day ,and the quantity of toties quoties was 50-100ml.

Laboratory positive findings Blood routine---WBCC:7.8*109/L, Lymphocyte Percentage:10%, neutrophils Percentage:84.5%, Eosinophil count:0.6*109/L;

Albumin: 31-33g/L, prealbumin:142mg/L; blood calcium: 1.97-2.02mmol/L , blood phosphonium: 0.80-0.97mmol/L ,PTH:174ng/L, Calcitionin:3.4ng/L ;

blood sedimentation: 24mm/h, Ferritin: 924.9ng/mL;

Anti-SS-A:+, ANA:+++, Alexine C3:0.77g/L,CRP 36.6mg/L ; Serum transferrin: 1.97g/L;

Urine protein:+, Quantitation of Urine protein in 24h: Microamount albumen 196mg/L, Transferrin 11.1mg/L, Microglobulin 41.2 mg/L , IgG 31.3mg/L. Stool smear:a little Capsule protozoon；

Endoscopy findings Coloscope showed that mucous membranes of colon and rectum had extensive dropsy, as well as rectal scattered anabrosis.

Gastroscope showed superficial gastritis , accompanied with anabrosis.

Image findings Computer tomography (CT) of epigastric zone showing edema of gastric wall and duodenal wall, right pleural effusion, seroperitoneum and bilateral hydronephrosis ;

Computer tomography (CT) of hypogastric zone showing thickening and edema of the part small intestine, ascending colon, sigmoid colon and rectum, furthermore , abnormal thickening of Bladder wall left; Computer tomography (CT) of chest showing right pleural effusion;

B ultrasonic of glandula thyreoidea showing a mixed tumor and a solid tumor on the right, furthermore ,a left thyroid nodules .

MRI of glandula thyreoidea showing multiple innocuousness nodules in right thyroid

ECT of epithelial body showing no obviously abnormal.

Pathological findings Rectal chronic inflammation

Other examinations (such as stool routine , stool culture ,tuberculin test, hepar and renal function, thyroid function, tumor markers, prothrombin time, HIV TPPA TRUST ,rheumatoid factor, anti-O, IgA E G M, C4 CH50 CIC, dsDNA anti-SS-B anti-SM, ACLA ,ANCA and B ultrasonic of the heart) were all negative.

To the treat and turnover:

After admission, we gave the patient the treatment of restrain acidum （Losec）, anti-inflammatory（Ceftriaxone and metronidazole）and nutritional support. But the patient’s pathogenetic condition didn’t take a favorable turn. Since May 10th , we have given the patient hormone therapy---300mg hydrocortisone iv gtt qd. Currently , the patient still has abdominal pain and diarrhea.

To request:

1. to diagnose: about the etiological factor and etiopathogenisis

2.to treat: such as some better therapeutic regimens and some precious clinic experience

Abdominal pain for 4 weeks accompanied with emesia and diarrhea--To request etiological factor and treatment?
Interesting case, but perhaps this would be more appropriate for posting in the infectious disease section. Your description of a gastroenteritis picture and stool cultures showing a parasite (protozoan?) seems to indicate this. A few of your terms are foreign to me (rectum "dropsy" and "anabrosis"). Also your description of a diffuse inflammation and pleurisy is also unusual and a very systemic manifestation of this disease. You might consider tapping these effusions and/or laparoscopy?

Public speech phobia. What should I do?

2009-11-20T03:53:00.002-08:00

Okay, I'm a high school student and I'm very self conscience and just can't act right when I'm the center of attention.

The thing is, I have to do a presentation at school, I have to stand right in front of the entire class AND the teacher and just talk about a certain subject (which ironically is PHOBIAS!)

I get extremely nervous when I have to speak in public, my hands and legs shake, I sweat, I lose my breath and start rambling and saying things that don't make any sense. I know I probably have "Social Anxiety Disorder" but I really don't know what to do to hide the symptoms. I don't want anyybody to notice my anxiety.

What should I do?

Thanks in advance.

Public speech phobia. What should I do?
From the moment you walk into the class you have to feel empowered. Convince yourself that you are in control of what is going on and what you are saying is interesting and that the class wants to and needs to hear it. Kind of like picturing them in their underwear, it is about realizing that they are not a threat to you. You are strong and informed and they are nothing to worry about. Get into what you are talking about, keep your mind occupied with the subject matter so you don't have time to think about being nervous. Take deep breaths and keep telling yourself it is no big deal. You are confident and intelligent and can do it.

Keep your hands down if they are shaky or hold on to the podium if your legs are, and clear your throat if your voice wavers.

Good luck!
Reply:You are just like the rest of us. Start by practicing in front of small groups of people you are comfortable with. When it comes down to the real deal you just have to grit your teeth and go for it.
Reply:I have the same problem,but i only shake.Just tell yourself you can do it.Just go up and read your paper,you'll probably shake so move your paper from one hand to the other,every so often.Good luck!
Reply:No worry,

just start, the adrenalin will damped after less than 5 min but you should have good message to delver to them, remember that they don't know what you want to tel them, you will be the source of knowledge
Reply:Practice your presentation in front of your closest friends or your mom several times. But the key to a good presentation is a good self esteem. Knowing the theme of your presentation from top to bottom and learning all the details around it , makes you strong enough to face any audience. So go ahead now study your presentation and hope for the best! Good luck!
Reply:Public speaking is hard for most! It is more feared than death.

I am extremely shy, but it is a requirement to take public speaking here. The best advice I can give you is to be prepared and practice (apparently 12 times- says my public speaking teacher). Make sure you make eye contact with the whole room. And if you have problems projecting your voice, pretend like you are speaking to someone in the very back of the room.

But the only advice that ever comforted me with public speaking is knowing that it won't last forever. Just think when you wake up that morning that in less than 7 hours it will all be over and you will be at home surfing the net, listening to music, or whatever it is that you do. The way I see it is this: Most teachers won't fail you for at least trying.

Clever Lawyers?

2009-11-20T03:53:00.001-08:00

From a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court,

word for word, taken down and now published (apparently)

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?

WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

And the best for last

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

Clever Lawyers?
excellent - well worth the read!!!10/10 and a star!!!

ps to those of you that complain about how long it is - dont bloody answer the question if you cant be bothered to read the joke!!!
Reply:Funny...but where is the question
Reply:A good example of the THUNDERING ignorance currently choking the world. 8/10.
Reply:THAT WAS SO LONG WINDED I DIDN'T BOTHER READING IT - I HOPE IT WAS FUNNY.

MORE ONE LINERS PLEASE :D
Reply:Too funny
Reply:very gud!! needed a laugh 2 cheer me up!! 10/10
Reply:good one
Reply:bang man......

all good ones.... I am still laughing...

thanks for the laugh

regards
Reply:Hahaha that was awesome.

I bet they were real cases too. That's shameful.
Reply:Absolutely fantastic!! I love it when people speak quicker than they think :)

Very good!!
Reply:hahahahahaha thats so funny i woke my parents up laughing. thanks heaps. 10/10
Reply:all very funny

x
Reply:ha ha ha ha loved it lol lol
Reply:Ha Ha! Funny! Good ones!
Reply:Wow, great ones. Makes me want to become a layer, makes it sound easy.

Quesitons dealing with the brain and sleep.?

2009-11-20T03:53:00.000-08:00

Okay, my questions are:

1. Is there a possibility for someone to not have a circadian rythm, and only sleep when physically exhausted?

2. Is it normal for someone to be able to sleep 12-14 hours every night if allowed and not have a sleeping disorder?

3. What should someone do if after they wake up, they always feel tired still, even after sleeping for 12 or more hours?

4. And is it possible to have a problem with your hypothalumus, or another part of the brain if you start to sweat, and lose apetite when you do something simple such as sweeping a floor, or even brushing your teeth?

Quesitons dealing with the brain and sleep.?
1. There are a class of sleep disorders called "phase disorders" that give people unusual sleep patterns, making them stay up very late until they drop or wake up in the middle of the night. There are also people who genetically require very little sleep overall, though this can be dangerous in later life as it can lead to a syndrome called "Fatal Insomnia."

2. Sleeping that long is not such a good sign. Could be a sleep disorder...OR it is a symptom of another health problem, like depression or even dietary problems.

3. This is very much a symptom of narcolepsy. People often have the wrong idea about this disorder. Only some people collapse randomly, more often they're just constantly drowsy.

4. Have not heard of this problem, other than hyperhydrosis (excessive sweating). This could be a blood sugar or blood pressure problem too.
Reply:1. no because without circadian rythm you'd be dead

2. yes .. in very rare cases a person can sleep even 16-18 hours per day

3. should go to a doctor

4. may be... go to a doctor and find out!
Reply:1. Every one has one... everyones differant

2. You can sleep for that long. I feel that after 6hours of sleep I get "too much" - BUT THATS ME, WERE DIFFERANT -

3. Talk to your doctor - you might feel wierd about talking to your doctor about strange things, but think about it... he is a doctor, he hears strange things all the time (I used to work in a Hospital - holy crap -)

4. Again, back to my answere for number 3, these questions could all be answered by a doctor. They might need to run some tests but I wouldnt worry about that till the doctor says something is wrong. Good Luck.
Reply:Some endocrine disorders (aka "hormone problems" or "glandular problems") are associated with fatigue, sweating, and appetite changes.

If these symptoms are present and problematic, and not just a mild curiosity for you, you should talk to your/a doctor about it. There are some really simple tests (bloodwork) s/he can do. At the very least this will help rule out what it isn't.

sage

What the hell is wrong with me??

2009-11-20T03:52:00.002-08:00

I dislike myself. I can't stand the way I look. I feel ugly. I lack self-confidence. I'm terribly afraid of being judged. I think I'm boring and unattractive and eccentric. I sweat profusely and stutter when I'm nervous, whether in public places or during conversations with not-so-close friends or during class presentations. I think this could be social anxiety disorder. This is affecting my relationships. I got to know someone from the net who I really fancy a lot. But I'm too nervous to meet that person. I'm terribly afraid of being judged during our meet-up and worse, rejection. I can't stand this anymore. Why is life so difficult for me?

What the hell is wrong with me??
You're depressed. Go to your doctor and get some anti-depressant medicine or change jobs, if you can get transferred into another part of the state or U.S. and moved to meet different people, a change of scenery will help.

Thanks,

Beverly S.
Reply:u sound kinda like me. social anxiety and low self esteem. not your fault.
Reply:My late husband had social anxioty disorder and to me it sounds like you are suffering the same you need to seek professional help.
Reply:you just verrry unconfident. condfidence is the most important thing about a person so i would defdinatly suggest a therapist to get to the source of the problem.

good luck, i hope you come to realize that everyone is beautiful in their own way. right now, that probbably sounds stupid but you will soon love yourself if you get the correct help.
Reply:You absolutely need to see either a doctor, phychologist, or counselor. You are a wonderful person, I am sure, that possesses many fine qualities. Life will fall into place as soon as you can get your priorities in order and discover what it is that is making you feel this way. Reach out for help, it's out there for you. From then on, it's all in how you put it all together. Start yourself a journal and write in it each day. You will see, after you've found the help you need, that by reading back to where you started, how things did actually fall into place. Good luck!
Reply:go get some zanax and try to chill. life will get better. if you can't do that then try pot
Reply:Have you tried counselling? I think it could really help. You need to set goals for yourself in order to amend the way you see yourself. Set them easy at first. eg Go on a date with someone I like. Set stages for this: pampering yourself, talk to friends about their dates, do some research on interesting places to go, find out what the other person likes to do and talk about. Give yourself a reward when you complete each step. I think you however should consider counselling. Speak to your doctor - they can point you in the right direction. You are finiding it hard to see yourself in the right way and are turning all your points negatively which is such a hard habit to kick. best of luck x
Reply:that sounds alot like me except for the sweating which is social anxiety... the rest of it is from the depression, or in my case MAJOR depression

theres not much you can do except see a doctor, go to councling and take meds (if you dont mind taking them)

sometimes it helps to talk to other people with the same problem, IM me anytime
Reply:Because you have social anxiety and if you don't take your self by a firm hand and realize that you are over reacting then you should see a mental professional. We all have to face rejection in our life's, it's a fact of life.

Life is difficult for you because you are making it difficult. We all have things we don't particularly like about our self's, for me it's my voice, but I have people who say they like it, I remember once my mother saying that she took a bad picture, but then on day realized that must be the way she actually looked. But does this stop us from speaking or walking around feeling ugly?

No, we accept our self for what we are and what we are capable of. You have to stop being sorry for your self, realize that you are just another person/individual who was placed on this earth for a reason. Force your self to speak up, don't worry about how you look etc. Be your self and others will except your for who you are and what you are.
Reply:first u should start loving urself. then look urself in the mirror and say u look beautiful. positive thinking will built selfconfidence. u make good friends. from ur history, I derived that u need lot of counselling on positive thinking. building up "can do" attitude will help u a lot. meet people, never be afraid of them. take them into confidence. not for highly personal matters. From the way u wrote this feeling is the past of your childhood, where ur parents or any other elders would have suppressed u a lot. u r grown up now. cut the ice by talking bravely twice with known people not over net. then u will fly high. No use brooding over it.
Reply:find a good and meaningful and wise thing to do at your free time.

example, chanting and/or listening to the sutras might help too. if you surf the internet, look out for inspirational websites which can lighten your stress.

the point is you are not alone. if you are a female, try a different dress might brighten your day. if you a guy, a new shirt which you like can also help.

life is not perfect. that is why you have to keep on trying to balance the negative and positive things in life.

mercury of love
Reply:I don't know why you dislike yourself so much but I am certain that your dislike of yourself is what is causing your life to be so difficult.

I am certain that you are not ugly. If you dislike the way you look it is because you dislike what is on the inside. Don't you know that what other people think of you is not nearly as important as what you think of yourself?

I both sweat profusely and stutter when I am nervous, as well. I deal with this by trying to stay as calm as possible when going into situations that I know tend to make me nervous.

I think you could benefit from therapy. If you can't afford it then I would at least recommend going to your family doctor and explaining that you think you might be suffering from a social anxiety disorder.

You need to quit isolating yourself. Make friends, embrace the fact that you may be a bit eccentric and use this to your advantage. Get a full length mirror. Stand in front of it and begin to admire yourself. Start with what you know is fine. Concentrate on the positive. Embrace the you that is you and start fixing the things that you feel are broken.
Reply:Hyperhidrosis:

http://www.answers.com/hyperhidrosis%26amp;r=6...

http://www.parsec.it/summit/hyper1e.htm
Reply:Because you tend to romantisize and create ficticious scenerio in your own head about how everyone is better than you are. Which is absolutely not true.

From what you are saying... you are more than likely young, inexperienced socially and have not had much interaction with people in your life so far. Not to mention, someone probably put all this bullsh*it in your head somewhere along the course of your life, as in a father, amother, a guardian, a mentor... whoever? More than likely someone who thought very little of themselves as well but their coping mechanisim was to belittle someone else to get their own power back. Probably you from the sound of things.

All inner turmoil, all pain that any situation of condition causes within us with a condition or situation is the self speking out internally against a negative or false belief. Something inside you wants to grasp hold of your true condition which you know and understand to be the opposite of how you actually feel inside about yourself less these outter influences and opinions. Once a mind is trained to believe in something negative that it knows is not true... in comes the conflict and the panic attacks and the depression and the emotional distress.

You can pack yourself full of all the medication you like and it may help after years of trying out everythng on the market until something clicks... Which is how they actually do it. OR... you can come to terms with the fact that some strong wizard of words taught you something about yourself that was never true and your inner conflict with it is proof that it is not copocetic with how YOU feel INSIDE.

I have a rule in life, taught to me by a very wise man a long time ago.

Take your entire life, and contemplate it... now try and remember every opinion and every feeling you have about anything really... now dissect it, and really ask yourself if these are YOUR opinions or an opinion given to you by someone else.

Either by mockery, lesson, teaching or bullying?

Now... after considering this. Realize that EVERY OPINION AND FEELING YOU HAVE EVER HAD... from this very moment, was a condition, a belief or an ideal or opinion given to you by someone else.

knowing that... stop and reconsider your life. and from THIS MOMENT ON. From this moment forward. Make and create YOUR OWN opinions, your own ideals and your own beliefs all by yourself and all for yourself. Be responsable for your failures and your own accomplishments. Take the credit and the fault for no one BUT YOU!

You'll see amazing changes... I swear!

Good luck to you sweetheart. and remember. YOU are your own creation. and all you have to do to change you... is to listen to you. Something inside you is crying out in opposition against all of this sh*it someone taught you to believe that simply is not true. Lay down the words of the evil wizards in your life and listen to you!

I hate to say it... because I hate her music... but Christina Agulaira is right... "You are beautiful." Don't seek out those who tell you different to cement an incorrect belief system because it is familiar and easier to deal with and dont allow anyone to tell you anything that is not true. YOU decide what is true and what is not.

Undertand that through the process of change. We often seek out things and people, situations and scenerio that may try and revert us backward to what condition we are used to. We will take notice of things we hear, listen to negativity, even on subconscious levels everything we hear and take note of will be your inner dialouge trying to hold on to what it is used to because the ego hates change.

Stick with it, tell yourself you are beautiful and start teaching other people how to treat you as such and all the chips will fall into place and eventually you will have re trained your own brain into the true realization of your own making...

Good luck!
Reply:Im not a doctor but i have experienced some of your symtoms.It does sound like an anxiety disorder,although for you to dislike yourself so much thats not good.I suggest therapy believe me it helps it took me 43 years to finally go for therapy and it has helped me a great deal. You need to be your own best friend in this life.Most people are their worst critics.Figure out the good things about yourself try to focus on the positive and not the negative ok control your mind,dont let it control you ,
Reply:If you stop thinking about the future, fear of judgment will be gone.

And the past isn't a reality, it isn't who you are. Be here %26amp; now.

More lawyerly fun?

2009-11-20T03:52:00.001-08:00

The following are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts" and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters. Enjoy! Hehehe!

Attorney: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

Witness: I forget.

Attorney: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

Attorney: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

Witness: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Attorney: How was your first marriage terminated?

Witness: By death.

Attorney: And by whose death was it terminated?

Attorney: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

Witness: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

Attorney: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

Witness: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an austopsy on him!

Attorney: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Witness: Huh?

Attorney: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?

Witness: Uh, he's twenty-one.

More lawyerly fun?
some humor-pray for lawyers cause the joke could be on you-david in amazing grace
Reply:difficult one
Reply:hehehehehe
Reply:ok i guess
Reply:hee hee
Reply:Lawyers are so stupid at times. Have they any idea that they sound like idiots!
Reply:I know those. They're funny. Just goes to show how stupid Americans can be
Reply:LOL

How do you cure malnourishment?

2009-11-20T03:52:00.000-08:00

I've been eating terribly in the last six or so months due to Binge Eating Disorder, and although I've been consuming food, I think I'm malnourished. I've had severe cold sweats, been bruising easily, and my immune system has been weakened. I'm looking for a way to fix it quickly first, then a long-term solution. Thanks for looking. :]

How do you cure malnourishment?
Take one Vitamin C tablet every half hour to strengthen the immune system.

Drink one glass of water every half hour to speed the cleansing process and to increase circulation.

Or if you prefer drink a glass of orange juice every half hour as a substitute for the water and Vitamin C, until you can't stand to drink the OJ anymore and then switch back to the pill and water. Allow nothing to interrupt the water and Vitamin C consumption every half hour.

Take a daily multi-vitamin, multi-mineral pill (every day of course)

Eat lots of protein and fibers (to spead the cleaning process and make you feel full): Beans, meats, vegetables, seaweed, protein and fiber pills.

Drink one cup of milk with Vitamin D in it (or as a vitamin D pill supplement) every meal

Some fruit every meal for the (good) energy and vitamins, but the most important thing is serious and continuous super-hydration (warning it is possible to die if more than 8 gallons of water is consumed before urination), and the Vitamin C for a strong immune system. Your body can recover most of its immune system and hydration levels within 12 hours, but the water balance is crucial (consumption levels must be increased gradually).

Warning: Do NOT begin super-hydration immediately on a dehydrated body as this can put your body into life-threatening shock. If you are dehydrated (irritability, trouble thinking, constantly tired, etc, research the symptoms for self-diagnosis) then begin with a 1/4 cup of water and increases the levels of consumption every 10-15 minutes by 1/4 cup. Water equilibrium between your stomach, your blood, and your cells requires several hours, but the transition can be made in small increments every 1/4 hour. Maintain the consumption levels at 1 cup every hour for optimal health through the rest of your life. If you notice circulation problems (hot-cold flashes, again research the symptoms) then drink electrolytes (small concentrations of salts) to stabilize the water retention ability and to assist in water transport.

Finally, meditate, relax, listen to peaceful music/sounds. Clear your mind of all worries and anxieties. Stress messes up all of the body's processes and hormone levels, but it usually hits the immune system hardest. Exercise lightly or stretch or do YOGA to lower the adrenaline and increase circulation; for quicker cleansing of your body, you are not just malnourished, but you also have toxins which need to be purged (cleansed) from your body. Most of the work can be accomplished in 3-5 days (results should be noticed after a day on all bodily processes). The entire process will likely bring your body to an optimum state after about two weeks.

Note: You will find yourself going to the toilet fairly often as this process starts to take effect. This is a very good sign that your body is cleansing itself. Stress can also send you to the toilet often (bladder and stomach muscles get tight with stress), so keep stress levels low by relaxing constantly. Also, if you are in hot or dehydrating conditions, increase your water consumption to much higher levels (according to medical recommendations for optimum health).
Reply:Eat something healthy. A well balanced meal and cut out the junk (I assume that's a large part of what your bingeing on). Take some vitamins in the meantime. Get some advice from a physician.

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmy?

2009-11-20T03:51:00.003-08:00

Hello all i wont to share my news lol.

Im having a nice BBQ Tomorrow please god dont rain and ruin my weekend,Anyone wonna come.?

Burgers,

Sausages,

Chicken,

Veg kebabs

Kebab

Booze of corse

Jacket potatoes,

Sweats,crips,pringles,cakes.

Yum Yum.........Anyone jelious yet.?

Lets get this str8 i have a eating disorder,im anerexic but this weekends my weekend only comes once a year.I have not eaten a thing in the last week.So i got to remember One weekend a year wont harm me or make me fat.Im 18 years old,5 foot,under 7 stone not going to say my weight as im ashamed of it,but im a size 0.I hate fat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmy?
You should invite your shrink.....
Reply:Sounds like a great idea, what time do you want us to turn up lol. Have a great time.
Reply:Blimmin'eck. Gobble down that BBQ then get yourself some serious help!
Reply:yeah .. ill come .. whats the address
Reply:Sorry darl I'm a veggie..but the jacket spuds sound nice.

Ps I don't drink alcohol either lol just water for me.

Have a good bbq
Reply:Yummy!!!

i reccomend you have a pig out one weekend every month! It will not do you no harm if you eat nothing for weeks on end!

Have you seen a doctor about your anorexia???
Reply:Are you holding in the grounds of the psychiatric hospital in which you are being held?
Reply:why are you bragging about your eating disorder on here we dont want to know get a life!! and stop wasting it
Reply:Eat as much as u can and put some weight on!! nufink gud about size 0!!!
Reply:Have a great time at the bbq and this is not the first time you said you're anorexic and you are really underweight so you might wanna gain a bit of lbs to be HEALTHY...I too suffered from an eating disorder... bulima and I TOO HATE FAT so I only eat once a day so I will stay slim but at least I KNOW I AM OVERDOING IT but I will still do it ...at least you ADMIT THAT YOU ARE OVERDOING IT A LOT... I am just telling you the truth and I hope you will have a great weekend and have fun :) and I am 17 so I know what you're feeling...Hope I was of some help in opening a bit your mind...take care
Reply:Hope you have a wonderful day, I presume it is your birthday.

At first I thought if I did a search for "natural progesterone anorexia" I would find nothing as normally progesterone is required for hormone balance so that the fat and food is used for energy. But no, I have found quite a few pages e.g.

http://www.longnaturalhealth.com/library...

Amenorrhiea can be the result of prolactin-producing pituitary tumors, anorexia nervosa, or intense long-distance running associated with under nourishment. These conditions cause cycle irregularities and ovulatory disturbances, which in turn affect the levels of circulating estrogen and progesterone if a women is not ovulating, she will most likely develop an estrogen deficiency, which can be brought under control by natural progesterone and possibly some natural estrogen.

# # # #

This is the link to my web page regarding hormone tests

http://uk.geocities.com/willim_walker@bt...

1 do an on line hormone test http://www.johnleemd.com/store/resource_...

2 do an appropriate saliva test and obtain results

3 get the results %26amp; discuss with a NPIS doctor or educate your GP/MD

If you are less than 6st 10lbs you are underweight. At 7st you fall into the ideal range. From my reading somewhere I believe that if a human is NOT eating enough the body solves this by "eating" itself to get the required minerals and such like, sorry this a bit on the brutal side. This leads to a downward spiral which needs to be "broken out of."

Have a happy birthday, if my presumption is correct if not, just have great day anyway. Once your day is over start checking out to see if your hormones need balancing. You will feel much better when your hormones are in balance.

Pictland to where ever you are I probably need the Tardis to get me there on time, enjoy your day
Reply:why are you happy. you are very ill person eat something!
Reply:At 18 I would have thought you would have some intelligence. On a previous question you offered to support a 13yr old with her possible eating disorder. However you then post an irresponsible statement here. Grow up and before you offer support get your own house in order. Statements made on this site can influence a variety of individuals....It isn't anything to be flippant about on one hand you state your ashamed and the next you treat it as a joke go get some counciling but ultimately learn to love and respect yourself and remember you only get one body so look after it.

alstroemeria

Help me please school? I wanna hurt myself! =(?

2009-11-20T03:51:00.002-08:00

Help me please? Job? I wanna kill myself =(?

Hi. I was born with a mental illness called Social Anxiety Disorder, it was inherited by my mom or dad, through genes or something, lately its been killing me cause I don't know what to do when I grow up. The illness is where I feel like people are looking at me and I feel extremely nervous, its a psychatric disorder or something... I wish i wasn't born with it, feel like I havn't got a fair chance at life and just want to be normal for once... I'm only 16 and doing fairly good in school I think i'll be transfering to a University.. Like UCI, but I don't know what type of ocupation suits me, cause i'm always afraid and nervous around people feel like they are looking at me, i sweat and everything. I don't know whats a good paying job for me, a good enviroment I can work in and still be happy. Any suggestions please?

Additional Details

19 hours ago

I've been told the Computer Field is very good but very competitive. If you suggest somethig

Help me please school? I wanna hurt myself! =(?
well it obviously have to be a job with little or no contact with people accountant or a work from your house job you should also get some counselling about these feelings they can help you so much
Reply:Not too much help for what kinds of jobs will be good, but it sounds like you're very anxious about making a life transition in general. This is a normal fear, so give yourself a break.

I have several friends who are extremely successful in University despite having SAD. It can be done! If you go after a degree, stay connected with your university's counseling services, take any meds you've been prescribed, and register with your university's disability services department. Even if you don't need any accommodation right now, letting the administration know about the problem will help you down the line if it does get overwhelming. I know people who have had nervous breakdowns from SAD and the pressure of school, but were able to take a medical withdrawal and come back with no harm to their GPA or reputation because they'd communicated to professors and the school *while they were better.*

If a situation isn't right for you because of SAD or any other reason, remember, it is not your fault and there is no shame in having to withdraw. In this day and age, people come back to college all the time even years and years later; a withdrawal is not the same as a closed door. Give it a try, use the resources available to you, and if it doesn't work it doesn't mean you necessarily did anything wrong. Good luck!

Oh, I do have a jobs suggestion - try Archives or Records Management. We have some SAD co-workers and other professionals who stick to processing all day and rarely see people; the work does not tend to have a deadline either. Some people are bad enough to need periodic institutionalization or intensive treatment, but seem to find a good niche here when on the outside. You need a degree, probably B.A. in history and usually a grad degree either MLS or MA; but investigate who's hiring for what positions and what degrees they need first, as this is no longer a hard-and-fast rule. Some positions really only need a B.A. or will let you volunteer first, then consider you for a job if you're good at it.
Reply:Ok guy look, its not that serious. What you have....everyone has! Some people can deal with it a little better than others, its a skill, you will get better at it. My advise to you is do not run from your fears, embrace them. I really mean that. The best satisfaction in life is conquering a fear. Theres nothing else like it. Go to college take some liberal arts classes and YOU figure out whats right for you. Dont ever let someone else make your desicions for you. Its your life you run it how you see fit. Goodluck

Psychology, please help. It's easy to understand, first part is question then underneath are answers. help pls

2009-11-20T03:51:00.001-08:00

Dissociation or a split in awareness is an experience commonly associated with

hypnotic induction

amphetamine intoxication

schizophrenia

withdrawal symptoms

relaxation training

The reduction in the body's response to a drug which may accompany drug use is called

withdrawal.

addiction.

dependence.

tolerance

aphasia

According to psychodynamic psychologists, the unconscious

processes information of which you are unaware

includes unacceptable feelings, wishes, and thoughts

is characterized by a loss of responsiveness to the environment

is synonymous with the preconscious

develops after the ego and superego

After her bridal shower, a young woman dreamed that she was dining with her parents when a young guy grabbed her wallet containing her driver’s license, credit cards, cash, and family pictures. She awoke in a cold sweat. After discussing the dream with a friend, she realized that she felt anxious about losing her identity in her approaching marriage. The explanation of her dream represents the

manifest content

latent content

ego

activation-synthesis theory

cognitive analysis

Drugs with names like Xanax, Halcion, and Valium are

opiate

stimulant

hallucinogen

tranquilizer

alcohol based

Of the following, which does you hypothalamus regulate over the course of 24 hours? I. body temperature, II. Hormonal levels, III. Memory of the day’s events.

I only

II only

III only

I and II only

I, II, and III

Which of the following is a circadian rhythm?

The ebb and flow of an individual’s emotions during a 24-hour period

Jet lag experienced after an airline flight from Los Angeles to Tokyo

A cycle of biological functioning that lasts about 25 hours

The series of four stages that people go through during a normal night’s sleep

The systematic alternation between alpha waves and delta waves during sleep

Nicotine is classified as a

barbituate

stimulant

hallucinogen

tranquilizer

depressant

Perhaps the best known hallucinogen is

alcohol

cocaine

heroin

LSD

nicotine

Alcohol is classified as a

depressant

stimulant

hallucinogen

barbiturate

opiate

“Humans developed a unique waking-sleep cycle that maximized our chances of survival,” is a statement most typical of

developmental psychologists

physiological psychologists

psychoanalysts

sociologists

evolutionary psychologists

Which of the following is most likely to occur as a consequence of hypnosis?

increase in strength to superhuman levels

loss of bodily and mental control

genuine regression to earlier age levels

altered sensory experiences

increased clarity and accuracy of memory

Zen Buddhists and others practicing meditation are better able than most other people to stimulate their

sympathetic nervous systems

parasympathetic nervous systems

somatic nervous systems

salivation

urination

Of the following, which psychoactive drugs shares the most similar effects on the brain?

alcohol-marijuana

caffeine-morphine

nicotine-heroin

amphetamines-cocaine

barbiturates-LSD

REM sleep, generally an “active” state of sleep, is accompanied by which of the following paradoxes?

Slowed heart rate

Slowed respiration rate

Lowered blood pressure

Paralyzed muscle tone

Reduced eye movements

Which of the following will NOT increase behavioral and mental activity?

Cocaine

Caffeine

Benzedrine

Amphetamines

Barbiturates

Nightmares most frequently occur during

stage 1

stage 2

stage 3

stage 4

REM

Which stage of sleep typically has spindles?

REM

1

2

3

4

During paradoxical sleep, muscles seem paralyzed and

eyes dart about in various directions

breathing is slow and shallow

night terrors are likely

sleepwalking occurs

the sleeper is easily awakened

Night terrors most often occur during

Stage 1

Stage 2

Stage 3

Stage 4

REM

Hypnosis:

is characterized by brain wave patterns similar to sleep

is an altered state characterized by narrowed attention and increased openness to suggestion.

is a sleep state in which the subjects are partially aware of their actions and able to perform many activities not normally carried out during sleep

is considered by most scientists as a trance-like state where hypnotists have complete control over individuals

was introduced by the Austrian physician, Karl Zener

When a person is shut off from the world such that he or she cannot even tell what time it is by light or dark, their sleep-waking cycle

stays at about 24 hours.

shortens to an average of about 20 hours.

lengthens to an average of about 25 hours.

becomes completely disrupted

shortens to 12 hours

As you are reading this question, you are probably not thinking about what you ate for lunch. The memory of what you ate for lunch is most likely in your

nonconscious

preconscious

unconsciousness

sensory memory

attention

Which stage of sleep is characterized by brain waves with spindles and K-complexes?

stage 1

stage 2

stage 3

stage 4

REM

A person who has trouble getting to sleep is said to suffer from

narcolepsy

sleep apnea

insomnia

somnambulism

night terrors

Hypnosis is best characterized as a state that

gives the hypnotist complete control over the thoughts and emotions of the person undergoing hypnosi

induces heightened suggestibility in the hypnotized individual

is similar to the condition produced by excessive alcohol consumption

is similar to obsessive-compulsive disorder

is similar to the REM stage of sleep

The chief characteristic of hypnosis is

heightened arousal

increased suggestibility

enhanced creativity

increased awareness

increased clairvoyance

According to Freud, dreams are very often a means of

wish fulfillment.

solving daytime problems.

telling oneself what's missing in one's life.

categorizing one's experience

organizing random neural brain activity

Freud believed that, in order to protect sleep and prevent the arousal of conscience, the content of our dreams is

suppressed

disguised

enriched

synthesized

fixated

Research suggests that the two most basic states of sleep are

alpha sleep and beta sleep.

light sleep and deep sleep.

alpha and delta sleep

REM sleep and non-REM sleep.

REM sleep and paradoxical sleep

A sudden, irresistible urge to sleep, which lasts a few minutes to half an hour during the daytime, is called

narcolepsy

hypersomnia

sleep apnea

sleepwalking disorder

insomnia

Physical cravings for a drug and unpleasant reactions when the drug is withheld are signs of

drug tolerance

psychological dependence

emotional dependence

physical addiction

mental dissociation

In small quantities, alcohol can be mistaken for a stimulant because it

inhibits control of emotions

stimulates the sympathetic nervous system

speeds up respiration and heart beat

induces sleep

affects the cerebellum

Which has enabled psychologist to learn the most about sleep processes over the last 50 years?

psychopharmacology

lesions

EEGs

CT scans

MRI

Psychology, please help. It's easy to understand, first part is question then underneath are answers. help pls
do you own homework.
Reply:This looks much like a final exam. Please do your homework and you'll learn much more. I suggest you study with a study group -- if you do this consistently, you will learn a lot more and will be able to use the information on exams.
Reply:Excuse me ! what do you want answered. I see something that looks like it may grow into a question followed by a shopping list of words/phrases that you hope will fit. then a few test questions that are not relevant to the question. The thought processes about as convoluted as a plate of spaghetti. The first question on your list was a statement that happened to be 180 degrees off. In hypnosis the subject is completely focused on a narrow stream of incoming information.They are completely conscious, wide awake and capable making choices.

I do admit that you have used more space than I have seen before.

re organize and ask simple questions

Help me please? Job? I wanna kill myself =(?

2009-11-20T03:51:00.000-08:00

Hi. I was born with a mental illness called Social Anxiety Disorder, it was inherited by my mom or dad, through genes or something, lately its been killing me cause I don't know what to do when I grow up. The illness is where I feel like people are looking at me and I feel extremely nervous, its a psychatric disorder or something... I wish i wasn't born with it, feel like I havn't got a fair chance at life and just want to be normal for once... I'm only 16 and doing fairly good in school I think i'll be transfering to a University.. Like UCI, but I don't know what type of ocupation suits me, cause i'm always afraid and nervous around people feel like they are looking at me, i sweat and everything. I don't know whats a good paying job for me, a good enviroment I can work in and still be happy. Any suggestions please?

Help me please? Job? I wanna kill myself =(?
i have that too. i dont have it badly but, i still get that feeling where everyone looks at you and judges you. i wont talk to anyone unles they talk to me first. but i made myself once get a job working in the public. i worked at a shoe store and i had to greet every person that walked in. and it was super hard at first, but i just made myself. sometimes you just have to make yourself, and it helps .. a lot! i also starting out with my first job, i worked at a daycare turning into a pre school teacher. i didnt get that nervous feeling from kids. so i loved my job. lol anyways i hope this helps atleast a little
Reply:ME too but pray like me and dont kill urself im doing better after ihave been praying.I know just how u feel ur not the only one
Reply:Do not ever presume to kill Yourself...

THIS world is overrun by creatures who will literally LEAP at that chance.
Reply:I used to have the same exact problem. Then I got a job at a very busy upbeat restaurant where you'll get fired if you aren't smiling and friendly all the time. The entire time i worked there i constantly got nervous and sweaty and screwed up, but forcing myself into those situations as embarrassing as they were helped me to overcome it a little. It's all in the mindset. Change how you think and force yourself to not care what others think. It takes a long while, but it'll get better.

I'd say work with animals, like at the zoo or aquarium or dog pound or wild park something that has to do with the outdoors and the environment. Computer jobs are boring, but you don't have to deal with people too much although you still have moderate contact with them and a lot with supervisors, but you could do it if you don't mind sitting in a cubicle all day staring at a screen 40 hrs. a week. You can also become a mail man/lady. You get good exercise and you have no contact with people, you just listen to your ipod and drop off mail.
Reply:Hey, I just wanted to tell you that shyness can be overcome. It isn't just a genetic trait that is unchangeable. Several people become shy at a certain time in their lives and then grow out of it. Maybe seeing a psychologist or therapist would be helpful.

As far as picking the right major, there is a good book called pathfinders, but it is pretty long. It has a lot of excercises, and some have to do w/personality- introversion vs. extroversion, etc. There a career outlook handbook that is online for free that has descriptions of different careers w/the training necessary, wages, etc.

Don't give up!
Reply:hi

my brother is bi polar and he has those same feelings and no mater what it's just how you feel and think. but you are way ahead you know something is wrong i would think computer programing, you do deal with people but not everyday or go into the field of helping people understand and deal with day to day functions in mental illness.

but be strong you are here for a reason and loved by those around you and it sounds like you are a strong person so do not give up
Reply:First of all, don't think you are alone. There are many people who feel the same as you. Second, it is treatable so that you can learn to live without the pain. This website explains about it and about how it can be treated.

http://degnanco.com/anxiety/main.html

Your detail suggests to me that you haven't yet seen a doctor or psychiatrist to discuss it properly, so you don't yet have a proper diagnosis. Self diagnosis is dangerous because it can cause more worry and fear which do not do anything to help! Please do try to discuss your feelings with a psychiatrist. I can guarantee that just talking about it with someone who understands will help you feel much easier and accepting of yourself.

Finally, don't think of yourself as having an illness. Try to think of yourself as a well person who has feelings which are special to you (but very like the way that many other people feel, too). In choosing a job, you should always look for the things that you do best and are strong at and build on those. That way you will be able to contribute something unique and enjoy your life to the fullest.
Reply:If you are fair dinkum, I would suggest that you learn website designing.

Without putting too much into it, when I was 23 I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia. This is a condition where I found myself not wanting to leave my home.

I have since been working online, and operate websites such as http://www.visitmy.com.au , http://www.888casino.com.au and http://www.visitme.com.au

Working at home has enabled me to work my own hours, and provided me with a fairly decent income.

I often think to myself that perhaps I wouldn't have what I have now had it not been for my condition. Check out my house at http://www.myownwebsite.com.au and please, I have not updated the website for several months.

Good Luck.
Reply:Have you gotten professional help with the anxiety ? You may be surprised at all the available help. Don't think you have to live with this. That is a mistake. You can overcome it. Be positive.

Go take yoga lessons . That is a first step.

Next take judo or karate lessons.

There are alternative methods to help your anxiety. You need to free yourself .

Don't you love the justice system!?

2009-11-20T03:50:00.003-08:00

Disorder In Court

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.

ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?

WITNESS: No, I just lie there.

___________________________

ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?

WITNESS: July 18th.

ATTORNEY: What year?

WITNESS: Every year.

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?

WTNES: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?

WITNESS: I forget.

ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?

WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.

ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?

WITNESS: Forty-five years.

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?

WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"

ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?

WITNESS: My name is Susan.

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?

WITNESS: We both do.

ATTORNEY: Voodoo?

WITNESS: We do.

ATTORNEY: You do?

WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?

WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?

WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?

WITNESS: Uh....

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?

WITNESS: Yes.

ATTORNEY: How many were boys?

WITNESS: None.

ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?

WITNESS: By death.

ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?

WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.

ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?

WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?

WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

WITNESS: Oral.

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?

WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.

ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?

WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

WITNESS: Huh?

______________________________...

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY Did you check for breathing?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?

WITNESS: No.

ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?

WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.

ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?

WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law

Don't you love the justice system!?
Nice one - and patient you writing them all down for us. A star for you.
Reply:And that's the way the Cookie crumbles
Reply:1999 called, wants its "Disorder in the Court" chain email back.
Reply:God, I love those. Don't you just love stupid people!
Reply:haha. i have to get that book.
Reply:most of the stupid stuff was from the attorney haha

not so smart now
Reply:Have heard 1 or 2 B4 but others still made me laugh which is what I need tonight. You cheered me up, so thanks for that!
Reply:a star 4 u

i'm 14 and in the 3rd grade and those ppl make me look smart

primrose

Any Drs/Nurses? Do i have the flu???

2009-11-20T03:50:00.002-08:00

Background: 16,female,5f6,98pounds (yes i know im underweight and no i do not have an eating disorder).

At school on friday i started getting chills then getting really hot the next minute but i stuck it out and made it through the day. I came home and crashed pretty much. I had a fever of 100.4 then. Its now monday and im still getting chills sometimes but mostly hot flashes. I had a headache which got worse every time i moved my head but now that has pretty musch gone. My fever at its highest was 102 and i could barely get down the stairs without feeling lightheaded. I woke up in the middle of the night last night soaked in sweat.

so my symptoms as of now are:

-coughing...sometimes lots of snot

-slight fever that gets worse at night-up to 101

-hot flashes, cold sweats

is this the flu???

if so what do i do since they cant give me tamiflu...i figure its too late for that now.

do i let it take it course or what will they give me if i do visit a dr? i rly dont wanna go =[

Any Drs/Nurses? Do i have the flu???
it certainly sounds like you have a virus of some sort, I say virus because the fever isn't all that high. A bacterial infection would result in fevers in excess of 103. At any rate, the treatment for all viruses is essentially the same. Lots of water, tylenol for aches and fever, rest rest rest. I suggest you eat yogurt at least once a day to offset the effects the virus will have on your digestive tract. (diarhea is likely)
Reply:Here's link to a chart that compares colds and flu:

Does anyone know what these smptoms add up too?

2009-11-20T03:50:00.001-08:00

ok so here are the symptoms. i will list them

i have had chest wall pain for three days, it hasnt moved, hasnt gotten much worse, just a little

a few hours ago my pain elevated a little,

after that i got a wierd headache...kinda like a onesided tension headache

im not dizzy...just a little um...off balance

and finally i have some history...i have anxiety disorder, but i have gotten better, not cured, but better over the past few months. My anxiey disorder stems from fear of sickness and dying, but i am not a hypochondriac. No, i am not having an anxiety attack now, but when my symptoms started to change earlier i took a xanax, i feel calm, but the chest wall pain and head ache is still there...usually the xanax takes care of this. the chest wall pain hasnt continued to get worse but the headache has, and i kinda have a cold sweat..should i worry, can this wait till tomorrow, im afraid to go to the er bc i think theyll try to treat me for anxiety when thats not a prob.

Does anyone know what these smptoms add up too?
i would get checked for a heart attack or a clogged artery. You should get to a doctor soon, this could be serious.
Reply:Headache is a pain in the head, scalp or neck. Headaches can be

caused by minor problems like eyestrain, lack of coffee or more

serious reasons like head injury, brain tumors, encephalitis and

meningitis. Taking painkillers continuously can have harmful side

effects, so it is better to modify your lifestyle. More information

available at

Am I anorexic?

2009-11-20T03:50:00.000-08:00

I am a wrestler. I check my weight almost daily and when it is near weigh ins more than once a day. My parents act like i have an eating disorder. I think I am just a competitive person who is still a little too fat. I naturaly weigh about 205 but I wrestle at 189. I don't like running with sweats in the heat to make weight so I started to lose the weight gradually.

I don't think I can be competitive at the next weight class up (215). Is it unreasonable for me to want to slowly lose the weight?

(my parents are against me losing the weight the running in sweats way and the gradual way. They think I am good enough at 215 but I don't)

Am I anorexic?
I was a wrestling cheerleader and watched the guys do this all season long. It is not an eating disorder. Granted the way that wrestlers lose weight during season IS NOT healthy I don't think you have an eating diorder. As long as you eat a healthy diet after the season is over. I would agree you are just competative, all the wrestlers I know do it so don't feel like you are the only one! And good luck!
Reply:As long as you're eating enough and not over exercising, you aren't anorexic.

ANYONE have anxiety problems here?

2009-11-20T03:49:00.003-08:00

I have hypochondria coupled with mild agoraphobia which gives me anxiety constantly and panic attacks almost daily. fast heart beat, cold sweats, shaking, all the symptoms down to the T for a panic attack. at night sometimes, in a half conscious haze of sleep, I get paralyzing feeling of terror and then wake up. Ive been to the doc and was diagnosed with anxiety disorder and panic disorder. I was put buspar but does nothing. the only thing that works is xanax or alcohol..but I dont't wasnt to have to rely on those since they leads to problems. Anyone have any personal experience tips on what works???

ANYONE have anxiety problems here?
You have a number of options.

1. The most popular (but damaging) option is to get drugs like Prozac. I suggest you read http://www.antidepressantsfacts.com/ first before taking this option. Many times drugs don’t work and people get trapped in the cycle of trying different mind-bending drugs for years, without relief. As you've found with buspar.

2. If you have an issue or problem with a certain event or situation or person, see a therapist and work through it, learning new coping skills. If seeing a therapist isn't an option, self-help books can help you to learn ways to cope with problems. Plus, there are many books on panic/anxiety and also a free online course that you take over a period of weeks at http://www.paniccenter.net

3. If you have irrational phobias in an otherwise balanced life, and can’t understand why you get anxiety/panic in a certain situation, try self-hypnosis-type programs like http://www.panic-anxiety.com

4. Calming herbs like valerian, kava-kava, chamomile or special formulas might help to take the edge off, but don't seem to eliminate the problem completely. Be wary of expensive on-line herbal formulas that promise to eliminate anxiety/panic: you can easily get the same herbs at most drug stores for a fraction of the cost.

5. Exercises like tai chi or yoga (many libraries have DVDs you can rent) are helpful to calm the breathing and mind. You can do these, and other things like walking no matter what treatment you decide on.

6. If you feel you have a more or less balanced life without any major issues, yet you're having both mental and physical symptoms, such as heart palpitations, anxiety, feeling weak, bad mood swings with anxiety-anger-depression-fear, confusion, etc. you probably have a hormone imbalance, which would take blood or saliva tests to determine. If you have a hormone imbalance (which is not the same as what they call a “chemical imbalance”) no breathing exercises or hypnosis or self-talk is going to help- the physical imbalance is in the adrenals, thyroid, and cortisol levels. This is easily corrected with bio-identical hormones. Many doctors/insurance don’t deal with this, so you’ll need a specialist. http://www.womentowomen.com/depressionan...
Reply:Sometimes I have the same problem. I know how you feel. It sounds like yours is much more severe than mine, and I don't know if I have any great advice, but here are some things I do.

I don't know if you have a religious background, but oftentimes I will say a prayer to help calm myself.

I also usually keep my phone handy so I can get a hold of someone close to me that I can trust. Talking to someone sometimes helps me calm down.

While it may sound strange, splashing my face with some cold water really helps too, just for mild attacks. I think maybe it's the shock of the cold.

Other than that...I'm afraid I don't have any answers. I hope maybe these will help you.
Reply:By what you've explained you have it baddddd.

I have anxiety problems, my therapist has told me to use a breathing method. Tense your body up then relax, from your toes to your head, or head to toes. (whichever you prefer) Counting deep breaths could work also. And playing with something can distract you when you are having an attack. ( I play with my ID badge during pep rallys)

I hope I helped, take care!
Reply:try not to worry about the people around you, pretend like you own the world i know its hard to get over anxiety disorders

I keep tellin myself to not care what others think and do whatver i wish but its not that simple, get a cd on overcoming anxiety or get some medicine.
Reply:Some universities have mood or anxiety clinics. Ask your doctor if your local university has one. Then they will help you get through all the things you are scared off. Eg. Some people are scared to exercise for fear of getting a heart attack, so the university will set up a treadmill with heart monitors and help you get over this fear. I think its called cognitive behavior therapy.
Reply:Buspar is worthless....

I take Klonopin (like xanax) and I have been on it for years. I take as needed during the day and 2-3 at bed. I am allowed to take up to 4 a day.. I never gone over that and I rarely need it during the day anymore since being on anti-depressants.

Yes these can be addictive, but it is fine as long as you take them as prescribed only.

I do not drink at all.. My mom was an alcoholic, my husband is one too so I want nothing to do with alcohol! It all boils down to choice...
Reply:It won't cost anything, but if you tried yoga of posture and yoga of breath, it would help you quite a bit.

It would very likely lead to learning how to recognize your own inner mind andbecome aware of the processes leading to anxiety.

With this knowledge will come a sort of mental peace.

Try it twice a day for 15 minutes at a time ... for two weeks.

you might be pleasantly surprised.

queen of the night

When I get really nervous I break out in red blotches on my neck my chest my arms ?

2009-11-20T03:49:00.002-08:00

I think that i have a anxiety disorder because I am always nervous and when i get nervous my neck my chest my arms and my back all break out in little red blotches I sweat really really bad my hands my underarms my back and feet I fell like I can not breath some of the time I get very warm like I am on fire. it is bad. i have felt like this and looked like this for so long I just dont know what to do about it. They are not hives the do not stick out they are just red blotches every where if someone else has faced something along this nature I beg uou to get in contact with me any good information is welcome I need all the help i can get with this weird out break on my skin???

please please help me

When I get really nervous I break out in red blotches on my neck my chest my arms ?
It does sound like anxiety. Do the blotches itch? They could be hives, especially if you're sweating, sometimes the sweat can make you all itchy
Reply:It sounds like social anxiety. It's apparently triggered when you're nervous, which would typically be around people (social) and the blotches are a physical sign of the anxiety. I think you should seek a psychiatrist and tell him/her exactly what happens when you become nervous. He/she will probably prescribe you xanax, which is an anti-anxiety medication.
Reply:anxiety disorder - GREAT THING TO HAVE IS CORTAZONE CREAM. ALSO IF YOU ARE NOT ON MEDICATIONS I AM ON CLONZAPAM WORKS GREAT FOR ME BUT YOU CAN TAKE A BENEDRYL. IT WILL CALM YOU DOWN , TAKE AWAY THE HIVES AND MAKE YOU SLEEPY. WHAT YOU HAVE IS A NERVICE RASH. SO DESTRESS YOUSELF IN A HOT BATH AND KEEP ITCH MEDICATION NEAR BY.
Reply:It is hives , hives usually breaks out in welps, but not always, the redness is coming out when you get upset,,,, it sounds like you are having panic attacks, you can read about them in web md. Try ativan, to relieve this problem, you dont have to take the ativan all the time, just under stressful situations, and you need to get rid of the stress builder in your life.... whatever it, may be.... You will be ok.....

Is there anything wrong with me?

2009-11-20T03:49:00.001-08:00

- I weigh myself constantly.

- While I push myself to run more during PE I think in my head "You are such a fat*ss and you need to run more to lose all that fat."

- I take a long time to pick out my outfit for school because I dont want to look fat in anything I wear.

- I usually wear sweats and sweatshirts to cover up my fat.

- I suck in most of the time.

- I always look in the mirror and see someone really fat and needs to lose weight.

- I constantly pinch my stomach and arms and thighs.

- I have recently had an eating disorder.

- I constantly look up information about losing weight.

I am 13 [almost 14] years old, 5'6", and 120 pounds. I do lots of sports including track, soccer, basketball, and volleyball. I am asian.

Please tell me if there is anything wrong with me. If so, what is it? help (:

Is there anything wrong with me?
You're not happy with your current weight it sounds like. I'm 5'7 122 and don't like it either. I'd rather be 115..
Reply:Hi There! The trick to stay fit is consistent exercise, be it jog, gymmimg etc... keep doing it and never give up!
Reply:You have an eating disorder. Most people do, to some degree. It's hard, but try to accept yourself. If you can't, try to get help. You can email me anytime, I'm in the same boat as you right now.
Reply:you aren't fat at all. i'm surprised you think so
Reply:been there hon..talk to some one older about it..and just eat healthy and excercise
Reply:when i read this i could not believe it...u sound just like me. the only diff is i'm 5'6" and weigh 123. and instead of soccer, track and all of that stuff, i dance.

i always feel like this so i understand what u are going through. all u can do is eat healthy and exercise. i used to constantly freak out about counting calories until a friend just told me "live your life" i kno that sounds super cheesy but the truth is life is short. do u really want to spend it thinking about calories and obsessing over weight?? again, i kno what u are feeling b/c i feel it too, but sometimes u just need to be thankful for what u do have in life.

hope this helps :)
Reply:At 5'6 your ideal weight would be 130 lbs so your weight at 120 lbs is fine and you don't need to lose any weight.

There is nothing wrong with checking your weight once or twice a day like every morning and/or every night. If your weight starts to creep up a bit you could eat a bit less for the next few days to get back to normal. An obsession with your weight is perhaps quite a good obsession.

Lots of sport is good for toning and you are doing exactly that.

The only problem that I can see is that you may perhaps create a lot of problems for yourself if you become anorexic and you get too carried away with losing weight that you don't need to lose and perhaps can't even spare.
Reply:Man... don't worry. I was the same way, only I was even heavier. When I was that age, I was 140 pounds. Its not healthy to be so concerned about your weight. I am currently underweight due to medicinal side effects, and I fight to keep myself at the normal BMI for my body by building muscle mass, although my body type is fine anyway. A lot of this could be inherent, and cannot be helped. Ask a doctor. But over anything else, have some confidence in your body, and try to exercise regularly and eat a healthy, balanced diet rich in vegetables and fruits. I strive to do just that, by eating a minimum of 7 servings a day and running three days a week and fencing two days. Love the sport:).

My son is 11 and in middle school; he is in trouble because he is always late to his classes!?

2009-11-20T03:49:00.000-08:00

He's obese due to his medical disorder... due to his size it takes him a LONG time to walk between classes, it really makes him work up a sweat. What can I do for him?

My son is 11 and in middle school; he is in trouble because he is always late to his classes!?
Get a doctor to sign a letter stating he needs extra time for walking. The school can not hold him resposible if it is medically related.
Reply:Get an excuse from his doctor and set up an appointment to met with the school principal.
Reply:Thats so sad, Im very sorry to hear that.

Im not sure what you can do except talk to the principal or the person in charge of scheduling to have his class rooms closer togther. But that might not always be possible.

Train him-

Maybe walk with him after school so he can prepare himself to walk fatser.
Reply:Getting a note saying hey my son is big so can you excuse him for being late to class will probably embarrass your son. If I was in your situation I would secretly talk to his teachers tell them about his disorder and then the teacher should understand :) or you could get his schedule changed so all his classes are closer together
Reply:tell him to leave his last class as soon as possible so he can get to the next one on time.(he should try to be one of the first students to exit the room.) if he can avoid going to his locker, i would encourage that. (it takes too much time to go to your locker while trying to make it to your next class.) buy him a nice bag or something that makes it easier to carry his school supplies. that way, walking is easier for him.

i also suggest talking to his teachers about his condition.
Reply:sounds like his weight is a medical issue. I would get a note from a Doctor and see if he qualifies for special treatment. Like getting a five minute start to and from classes, this is scary because getting in trouble is probally embarrassing to the poor kid and kids can be so cruel, as his parent you have to be his advocate the school surely won't help unless there is a note on file. I will pray for you and your family. Please don't wait to intervene for him. Good luck
Reply:From a teacher's perspective, a child being late to class everyday is usually a sign that they are doing something they are not supposed to be doing during passing periods. If this is not the case with your son, then as a teacher I would want to know that. If you get a note from his doctor and turn it in to the principal then they are required by law to allow him more time in between classes. Again, as a teacher, he will be missing vital time in the classroom so this should be minimized. He needs to be walking at home as well in order to get in better shape.
Reply:If he has a medical disorder, he should be able to have an IEP (Individual Education Plan). Call the guidance counselor and principal about setting up an IEP meeting. What will most likely happen is that an accommodation will be made for him, such as allowing him 2 or 3 extra minutes to get to class. In turn, the IEP will outline goals for his "team" to help him reach. For instance, he might get services through a physical therapist provided by the school system to help him lose weight and get in better shape. It will be a team effort. Good luck.

Low WBC, High Mono?

2009-11-20T03:48:00.002-08:00

Hi,

My 9 year old has had abnormal CBCs for the last three years. One doctor tried to assure me that maybe this was just 'normal' for him. He always has a low WBC and high Monocytes. In his most recent bloodwork the WBC is lower and the Mono is higher. He has a lot of other medical issues to include a presumed metabolic disorder. He is easily fatigued (could be metabolic), bruises fairly easily, and does sweat at night although not always.

What would you do? Would you try to get past the PCM to a Hematolgist? Is there another specialist you would try to see? I have a metabolic specialist in another city, but it will take him probably a week to get back to me.

Low WBC, High Mono?
Would depend; how low is it? What is the differential? You say the Mono's are creeping up? Would suggest letting a Hematologist look at it to see what is going on. A low white count somtimes can point to viral.
Reply:I'd find someone else.

Good luck....

golden ball

My Mom doesn't believe me. advice?

2009-11-20T03:48:00.001-08:00

I am adnormally shy. its to the point where my friends get mad at me for not conversing around their family, or refusing to eat more than a few bites around them.

I hate being in large crowds at parties or gatherings, it makes my face turn red, my palms sweat and the only thing i want to do is turn and run. I have no abilities to start conversation, or keep on going for that matter.

I have done research and came apon A disorder called Social Anexity Disorder,

9 times out of 10, I was agreeing with everything stated about the disorder to my own shyness.

My mom think im just being a hypochonriac and wont listen to me.

How do i convince her to at least get me checked out?

My Mom doesn't believe me. advice?
You might have to consider facing this issue on your own if your own mother doesn't help you. Good luck.
Reply:Just try sitting down and talking with her. Explain with as much detail as possible. Show her websites that you find. Anything to make her listen.
Reply:Well the first thing you should do is sit down with your mam and tell her your problems. If she will not listen just call your docotr for advise and follow it . Think positive.
Reply:Pull up the information you found and let her read it,then discuss it with her by telling her how many of the symptoms you have.Also tell her that you'd rather be able to identify what's wrong with you,instead of being worried about it.If it turns out you're worried about nothing,then that's even better,but any good mother would want to help you out.If she doesn't listen to you,then the next time you're at the doctors,tell them about it,then they can talk to your mom.Good luck.
Reply:Wow, from what you described, it sounds to me like you have the classic symptoms of social anxiety disorder. It is important that you get help. Sometimes parents just don't like to believe that their children have psychiatric problems. My best suggestion is to ask your mom to sit down with you in private and calmly tell her exactly how you feel. Tell her how miserable you have become. Be very honest. Show her the research you have done and explain how it applies to you. If she still refuses to listen, try to talk to your school counsellor or even a school nurse, or a relativel like a favorite aunt or uncle. One of these people may be able to help your mother understand that you want help. That may be a difficult step to take, but it will be worth it, if it gets you the help you need. Believe me, there are therapies and medications that can help people like you feel better. It worked for my father after I convinced him to seek treatment.
Reply:If you are here talking about your mom that means you are probably still in school right. You may be able to go to the school nurse, if she diagnoses it then your mom will realize that it is real and she can then take you to talk to a doctor.
Reply:i can relate to you a lot. i think i have general anxiety disorder and my mom just doesnt want to accept that i have it really. she said she was going to take me to the doctor and try to get me prescribed a low dose of something but she hasnt really. its hard to deal with anxiety and i hate it. you should write your mom a letter or sit down and have a serious conversation with her. tell her how much more fun you could have if you didnt have to deal with anxiety and how much it affects your daily life. im almost 16 and can completely relate to ya. good luck!

Whats wrong??? Is he suffering a mental disorder?

2009-11-20T03:48:00.000-08:00

Symptoms:

He has very strange mood swings

(ex) Last week, I saw him and he polite to me while driving me to College. As we got closer to college I brought up a question to him asking if he thought my father was having financial problems. He screamed at me and said he was insulted that I would even think such a thing since my dad always gives me money. Then convo went on and on and he persistantly kept yelling at me even though I said nevermind. About an hour later he got quiet, stopped talking and rolled the window down. He said he was nauseaus and sweating. He forgot what we were talking about and was very nice to me. He was no longer very coherent and became confused. He actually let me drive the rest of the way to college.

I can't explain to you how scared I was for him and myself.

Is there something wrong with him and if so, what?

Whats wrong??? Is he suffering a mental disorder?
If its something that just happened once, then I wouldn't worry about it to much, but if this is something that happens often then something might be wrong. Could be bipolar disorder, or he might have a boarderline personality disorder (Might want to look that one up its hard to explain). Or something like depression. I'd do a little more research on those three and see what you can come up with, and what fits best.
Reply:yes there probably is something wrong. the first thing that came into my head is bipolar. Although don't rely on any diagnosis from anyone who isn't a professional.
Reply:steroids maybe? dunno what causes irritability AND nausea...

some drug?
Reply:Souds like he is stressed out about something.
Reply:You need to get him to a doctor fast. He might have a very serious medical problem.
Reply:He could be Bipolar or have phycosis which are forms of scizophrenia but you won't know unless he's hearing voices so speak to a doctor or counciler about it before you go accusing him of having scizophrenia
Reply:This is serious. You should have him see a doctor asap. He sounds like Schizophrenia or Bipolar disorder. Sometimes physical symptoms arise in these types of situations.
Reply:WHo is this person? It sounds like he is overstressed. Tell him you are there for him and suggest he see soemone if he can. Yeah he is definitly stressed i do not think he has emotional problems but rather lashes out feels bad and then treats you nicely because he felt bad about what he said either way let him know you are there and suggest help. Seems like he has a lot of things he's keeping in and that itself could drive soemone crazy :(
Reply:He definitely sounds like he is bi-polar manic depressive. He needs to see a doctor today. Usually the person exhibiting these symptoms, doesn't see it. So he will most likely refuse to see a doctor. The other possibility is he using drugs, coming down or suffering withdrawal pains. Either way, I would be very afraid to go riding with him again or even be around him. You don't say if he is a relative or friend, but I would cut him loose and keep you own sanity intact. You don't need this type of insanity!

Good Luck!
Reply:Hi, first of all it's hard to diagnose without a little history but from what you describe, by you being a little surprised and confused tells me this is kinda new. If this is unlike your usual habits of communication, I suggest you both sit down and re-evaluate your motives together and plans for the future. More importantly, how you are going to get there (the future that is). You see in any relationship there has to be fashion of communication established. Unfortunately, over time, that changes, just like fashion does. Usually, not for the better. In the beginning, things are always nicey nice, until the real self comes out. If someone experiences stuff they did'nt bargain for they usually move on unless there is deep commitment. If that's the case, then it should'nt be hard to address the problem and get the help necesarry. Always remember to use "I" statements such as "I felt afraid when you". This gives the other person the chance to understand your genuine concern without the blame component which otherwise puts the person on the deffensive. It's never our place to challenge someones mental state when they have a blow out. Just ask the ones within earshot of the yelling, their look should say it all. It's not cool. If you two are very close, maybe it's time for a holliday, unless maybe a new drug problem has jumped into the mix!...The bottom line is, you are number one and you allow others to treat you how you think you deserve to be treated. You are responsible for your safety and well being, and if at any time you feel threatened, save yourself because weather it's mental illness, drugs, bad temper or just a bad day, the first question should be..."what am i doing here!".

clear weed

How do i reduce my social panic disorder?

2009-11-20T03:47:00.003-08:00

i only have them when im around people i dont know, in front of a crowd, and around beautiful girls...yes i said it beautiful girls...try to ask them out and i start sweating, have trouble breathing, and fast heart rate...please help.

How do i reduce my social panic disorder?
hey Gerry...it is called social phobia these days,I was diagnosed with it a few years back.There is a web site that you can check out,or phone a local mental health institute and they'll put you on the right track...don't wait too long to do something about it,

it doesn't go away by itself,you will overcome it,put the effort in,it's well worth it g/l
Reply:medication, try lexapro
Reply:GET A PET!!
Reply:Easy, hang around ugly girls.
Reply:HEY email me! It used to be called social panic disorder but now it's called Social Phobia.

I totally know how you feel lol. I thought i was going crazy i honestly don't know how i got through 18 years of my life but i did. I saw a doctor i was diagnosed with that and agoraphobia and now i feel completely free, I haven't had a panic attack for MONTHS and i've been more outgoing then i ever have in my entire life. Try taking deep breaths.
Reply:I get the same type of symptoms in similar situations, i.e. around crowds, meeting new people, and I have found that a medication, Xanax, has worked well if I take it before I enter into these situations. I know it has addictive potential, so it's only for occasional use, but it's what really works for me. You may want to consult your physician.
Reply:A lot of people have that disorder. Take it easy. One of the main problems might be that you are attracted to opposites. Hang around with people who think like you.
Reply:Oh, you're just nervous...why is it that lately normal reactions are being branded as "disorders"? (I guess Big Pharma needs more $$$.)

Just try to calm down, think about what you want to say, then go do it.
Reply:DRINK HEAVILY

I think I have social anxiety disorder...?

2009-11-20T03:47:00.002-08:00

I think it onset at around age 20 or so... I was always pretty laid back, but fine and able to be myself around all my friends. I've always had fear of public speaking, though. But, around age 20 or so, I started getting intense fear when I thought I was the center of attention... more in situations where people were actually facing me (e.g., at a card table playing poker). Also, I get anxiety at places like parties where I already have anxiety, then my symptoms (nerveousness, redness, sweating) of that anxiety actually make me want to not talk to people even more. Then, I think that everyone is noticing these symptoms and notices that I'm just standing around not talking to anyone. Then, I will either escape the situation (hang in the bathroom or go back and forth to the car) or I will start talking about some stupid crap so that I don't look so anxiety-ridden, but then my anxiety shows through, and I probably look whacked.

I think I have social anxiety disorder...?
Go to your GP. They will tell you the best course of action, whether it be medication, a referral to a psychiatrist, or a recommendation for counselling.

Good luck.

Edit: Social anxiety and other mental illnesses ARE illnesses, and I think it's irresponsible to claim otherwise. There are treatments that work, so why should people have to suffer just because they don't have obvious physical evidence of their illness? Mental illnesses are brain disorders, and as such they are serious, and people who suspect they have them should seek help. Mental illnesses have mortality rates, just like physical illnesses do. I can not STAND people who tell others that their mental illness is nothing, or that it's been created by drug companies just so they can make more money. Who cares if people make money, as long as ill people get better?

To the asker: please ignore anyone who tells you that your illness is not real. They're talking bullsh*t. Please get help.
Reply:Maybe its only a phase in your life then go back how it was again... dont worry, be urself, only...

If you dont have the mood be with persons dont be, dont care abt what ppl think abt you...

Anxiety appears sometiems for some misterious reason and can disappear sudlenly.

I advice not taking drugs or other things ..anything.. bcs it only get worse..

Talk with someone you can trust to help you with words, and have faith in yourself, as says the song:

"only you can feel the rain, nobody can feel for you""

Be brave and all will be better soon
Reply:You think you do but you DON"T. You fear that you will make a fool of yourself around friends. Social Anxiety is nothing but fear. It's called a disorder because that is what the medical industry wants you to think so you can go to the doctor and get medication= $$$ching ching for them. What should be done is just be yourself. Speak what you want, do what you want, and do not care what others think. It's good to care for others but your is like a fear that has turned into a disease.

Next time when you are with friends, or become nervous, say this:

" I am with friends, with people that I know, there is nothing to be afraid of, I should enjoy myself."

" People are looking at me, because they want to talk to me, they enjoy my presence."

" I should not fear public speaking because my words will impress people, will inspire people.

Just be yourself.

Just be you. Will you let fear rules your life or will you rule your life?

I believe your dark days will end soon. I believe in you. You should believe in yourself too. Everything that I have put here I have put sincere thoughts into them
Reply:One solution is to go somewhere that nobody knows you, and deliberately make an utter fool of yourself: put on a paper hat, and scream out: "I'm king of America!", or something else ridiculous, then get back in the taxi (warn the driver of your intentions, first), or car, and leave. People will point, and say: "Look at that idiot". But, you're probably not up to the stage where you can do that, yet (I can, and I used to be shy). Regard it as your final test: once you have accomplished it, the barrier will be broken; just don't go too far, the other way! Learn to laugh at yourself, and give a big, cheesy grin when others see you do something foolish, as we all do, occasionally. It will endear others to you, if you don't do it too often. See shyness/social anxiety, and self confidence, in sections 9, and 38, at http://www.ezy-build.net.nz/~shaneris

How can I exercise without getting over heated?

2009-11-20T03:47:00.001-08:00

OK, here's the deal. I'm thirteen and would like to lose ten to fifteen pounds and tone my body in the process, but there's a problem. I have a disorder that I was born with that does not allow me to sweat like most people, and I can't engage in any sort of physical activity for very long without breaking out in heat bumps and possibly passing out. I need a way to excersise effectively without over heating myself.

We have plenty of space for me to walk and run and all that, (42 acres with a trail that is exactly a mile long), it's just I get hot and have to quit and get really discouraged because I have to stop all the time.

Any suggestions out there?

How can I exercise without getting over heated?
Try yoga, and stay well hygerated. What's the condition you have called?
Reply:Walking and doing housework is the best exercise for losing fat and ensure that your diet does not include any high calorie foods. Formulate your own weight loss plan and you will lose weight faster. From http://myweight.info
Reply:The way I look at it, the most suitable exercises for you are swimming and water aerobic exercise.

In the water, you're able to keep cool due to the cooling acquatic properties of water.

Why don't you give both your best shot?

I have Axillary Hyperhidrosis!!!?

2009-11-20T03:47:00.000-08:00

Axillary Hyperhidrosis is, i think a disease or disorder, its a common condition. Axillary Hyperhidrosis is when a person exssesivly sweats from palms and armpits...

Does anyone know a surgeon or a good doctor that can help me?

I have Axillary Hyperhidrosis!!!?
I don't know where you are but botox has been tried and is a good alternative to surgery so give that a try. Very successful for some.
Reply:You should be able to find a Doctor, by using this Doctor finder program..Good Luck%26gt;%26gt;

http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/direc...
Reply:Botox DOES help! It's one good use of it.
Reply:Ok, for the 2 people who said that botox is a good alternative: if you have SEVERE and EXCESSIVE sweating on your palms, feet, and/or armpits, botox will NOT work. By all means, try it for yourself, but if you sweat a lot, it won't work for you. Surgery is the last option after you've tried everything else. I've had the surgery done, it completely stops all sweating to your hands. It also reduces the sweating in your armpits and on your feet greatly. I would recommend it to anyone. Mine was done at the University of Minnesota, Michael Maddaus was the surgeon, and the number you can call for info is (612) 626-8430

hope this helps, good luck
Reply:Hyperhidrosis can be caused by food allergies, or a mineral/vitamin deficiency. I had it for a long time before learning this.

Check out this article about hyperhidrosis, grains, and sugars. Scroll about halfway down the page.

http://www.mercola.com/2004/aug/14/exces...

I had hyperhidrosis and other symptoms for many years. I tried all the usual treatments including ETS surgery, prescriptions, antiperspirants, botox, etc. The surgery was most helpful but several years later hyperhidrosis began to return.

This year I was diagnosed with a few food allergies and celiac disease. I eliminated wheat, dairy, and sugar from my diet. I stopped all prescriptions and began taking supplements for B vitamins and magnesium.

You can see the rest of the story here:

http://www.esfbchannel.com/phpBB2/viewto...
Reply:Check this out.

Have you tried a Chiropractor for help? You can have undetected nerve compression and it can cause many health problems. Try having your spine examined by a good chiropractor that believes in the power of our central nervous system. Your brain controls every cell and part of your body threw nerve transmissions and if nerves are compressed you body will start to malfunction due to the lack of nerve impulses. Your central nervous system as well as the American diet has a lot to do with the conditions that people suffer from. Most doctors don't even understand our central nervous system therefore they don't know how to properly address conditions with out medications (with a 101 possible side effects) when nerve compression could be the root cause. For eight years I was suicidally hopeless with three young kids no doctors out of many had not a clue what was wrong with me. I know the power our central nervous system because I was set free from chronic nerve pain (stinging, stabbing, burning, itching from my eyeballs to my rib cage to my head to toes, literally!) all over my body and many other health problems after my spine was treated from a good Chiropractor (his goal was to straighten my spine) without medications. Stretching my spine on an inversion table helped the most for me (my spine pop loud and three weeks later most of my crazy symptoms started going away!). Oil base B-vitamins also help a lot there good for nerve transmissions. A lot of problems are also do to vitamin and mineral deficiency problems that doctors are unaware of. Don't ever give up hope, pray for Gods guidance and he will help you find the answers as he did for me, I wish I had enough room to tell you my whole personal story!

peacock plant

I think I have social anxiety disorder?

2009-11-20T03:46:00.003-08:00

Ever since I can remember I've always been different. I am 26 years old now and I'm still suffering from this terrible thing. School was the worst I never had any friends or just 1 really close friend. If we had to read a report in front of the class I would either get a 0 and not read it or I would and no one could hear me and I would be blood read and my palms would be sweating like crazy. I always wished I was normal like everyone else. And now that I'm 26, I now don't know how to talk to people b/c I never have. It's weird b/c I'm amazed at how people can just start a conversation. I can't do that and I wish I could. I can't go to a restaurant and eat. I get so stiff where it's hard for me to swallow my food. If I go anywhere I always stiffen up and walk like a zombie. And if I'm at a party and I go to pour myself a drink I shake it's so embarassing. It's almost like I don't like people to hear me talk. With my family I'm fine. I talk loud, I have fun, I'm funny.

I think I have social anxiety disorder?
nah. you're just very shy. maybe someone in ur childhood made fun of you in public or something so thats why this happens. lots of people are like this. stop paying attn to those stupid pharmaceutical ads that only want to make money for themsleves by trying to convince you you have some kind of syndrome.

why dont u go find a hobby, a passion. something u can do for hours but feel like minutes.

join a club with that passion of yours. its always easier to talk about that passion with someone then start a convo out of midair.

you could be a loner also. nothing wrong with that. you get along with your family, which is the most important.

maybe start a club on the internet: Loners R US and u can be president:) a club full of loners hmmmmmm would they be called loners if they became all friends?
Reply:This might sound weird but, how is your diet? I've known people like you who had really bad diets which wreaked all sorts of havoc on different aspects of their lives. I can't be too sure, but once that improved and they took some amino acids things got better. Are you exercising regularly and getting enough sleep?
Reply:see a doctor, ask about trying Paxil, worked wonders for me, I also used to be anxious in social situations, not anymore.
Reply:It's like reading my life story
Reply:Talk to a therapist about it. You don't have to go to an expensive Psychiatrist (trust me, social anxiety pills are BS), you can see a licensed therapist. He or she can direct you to groups that slowly walk you through opening up to others. You would basically be in a room with a few other people who are just like you. You would slowly be asked to share things until you are comfortable with talking with them. Then you would move on to bigger and better things. There are support groups like this all over. You just need to build confidence in yourself over time.
Reply:You sound sweet. I wish I was your family so I could cuddle you up just like you were my own baby girl. And since you have this problem I would never have to share you with anybody and I could have you all to myself. That would just really make my day. I love you!!!
Reply:WELCOME TO THE CLUB i feel for ya but u talk on yahoo answers right

i can't talk that much either but u really have to take a chance step out of your comfort zone i mean whats the worst that can happen if u talk to some one good luck
Reply:Yes - I was very much like that at your age - still am to a degree, although much more at peace with myself than I was then. I think you are probably naturally a very sensitive person (born that way). When you were much younger people (who were less sensitive and saw things differently to you, and who probably incorrectly had contempt for the sensitive) fed you negative messages about yourself, wich as a child you bought into. Shame grew and grew, and you kicked and tortured yourself, until the only place you can relax and be yourself is at home with familly.

Could I make some suggestions that together have helped me a lot (when I felt the way you describe feeling now, I would never have believed anything could help, but its not true).

1. Go to the doctor and request to be prescribed Zoloft. You have been under so much stress for so long - chemicals are depleted in your brain - Zoloft will help a lot (I was very against taking anything like this, seeing it as something I could overcome without a crutch - I was wrong). 2. Get the book 'The Highly Sensitive Person' by Elaine Aron. You can get it online at www.amazon.com if it isnt in a nearby bookstore. Elaine Aron is a sensitive person who had the same problems as you and I - see has overcome it personally, and has done a lot of research on it (she has a phd). Her insights are really essential for people like us - please read the book. 3. Seek regular counselling with a mature decent person (I saw one person for a long time who was of no help at all - I later realised he was 'talking down' to me from a position of imagined superiority. I saw another counsellor - a person who was succesfull in her own life and fair and decent in her attitude and have been able to talk about things and untangle areas of confusion together. As you talk different things through you begin to free yourself. 4. My final suggestion - look up 'dealing with shame' on the internet, because what you have in your head is shame from childhood, false garbage. The way you are with your familly is how you should be all the time. Good luck.
Reply:See social anxiety at http://www.ezy-build.net. (.net.nz/~shaneris) on page 9.

Severe Menstrual Pain is killing me.. HELP?

2009-11-20T03:46:00.002-08:00

Hi,

I'm 24 years old and ever since my menstrual period started around age 14-15 they have been very irregular. There was one point in my life when my period stopped for over 2 years. My period has finally become regular now for the past 2 years, but the first day my menstrual cycle starts each month, I get SEVERE lower abdominal pain! The pain is so severe that I would like to go to the ER, but due to also having diarrhea at the same time, I can't get off the toilet long enough to get to the hospital. It's become so painful that my mother has had to come into the bathroom with me, and hold me up on the toilet because I become so weak and also have fainting type spells. I also get the dry heaves and keep feeling like i'm going to throw up, but nothing ever comes up. I can't even drink water because everthing makes me want to throw up...even a Vicodine pill. I have taken Vicodine for this, but the pain becomes so bad that even the power of Vicodine doesn't do anything for me.

Another thing that makes it hard is we only have 1 bathroom, so when I get my the pain and diarrhea, I CAN NOT get off the toilet.. and for some reason...EVERYONE needs to use the bathroom when i'm in there. I have begged them: "Please stop knocking.. I can't get up..i'm so sick..please stop..leave me alone" But my parents both have bladder problems and they NEED to go. It is just so hard because when I get off the toilet, so they can go in there... I have almost went potty on the floor, because the pain is soooo bad it pushes on my colon and makes everything come out. It's like when you squeeze a tube of toothpaste. It's not even diarrhea really.. it's solid..and I have probably lost about 2-3 pounds just going to the bathroom. I also get the cold sweats and hot sweats and feel like passing out. I sit on the toilet, while my mom wipes the sweat off my face with a cold towel and I just want to take all my clothes off, because I become so over heated and soaking wet from the sweat. I have told my doctors about this, and they have never really done anything. My mom and my soon-to-be mother in law had this exact same problem, and the doctors found that they both had ovarian cysts. Could this be my problem too? The severe pain lasts about 5-6 hours, and after laying on the couch with a hot water bottle on my stomach, it goes away after I wake up from sleeping. I'm fine after that, and I go on with a normal period for the rest of the week. I only get the pain about one hour after my period starts each month, and I suffer so bad. I have also been diganosed with a Thyroid disorder which is still being tested..is there and connection to the two?

My symptoms:

1. Severe abdominal pain

2. Feeling of fainting; weakness

3. Cold and Hot sweats

4. Extreme sweatting

5. Wanting to throw up; gagging

6. Nausea and solid diarrhea

7. Heavy bleeding

Like I said.. I want to go to the ER when this happens, but I just can't get off the toilet long enough to get there. Any thoughts or suggestions?

%26lt;3 Mia

Severe Menstrual Pain is killing me.. HELP?
And some of those symptoms could be IBS. Please go see a doctor -- mention everything. If you have to wait a month, take the opportunity to keep a stool journal - how often you pass your bowels, any pain, gas, or bloating, episodes of spastic colon (the horrible intestinal cramps which create the diarrhea), etc. By all means, it could be a variety of factors but the bathroom ones are what I recognized. With your thyroid issues (another post) and these bowel issues, there sounds like an awful lot of autoimmune going on. Check out IBS on webmd.com to see if your symptoms match.
Reply:I went through this exact thing in high school. I would have to miss days every time my menstrual cycle would come around because I could hardly get up. Report It

Reply:you have some symtoms of TSS
Reply:The first suggestion is that this requires an exam by a gyno. You may have endometriosis.
Reply:I'm only 17 and I have//had those same symptoms. They did lyproscopic surgery and found out I have Endometriosis. Seriously, get it checked out it can ruin your uterus and ovaries. Going to the ER isn't going to help, go to a Gyno. asap. Best of luck to you

OH yeah go here!

It's a lot of help and support and you can learn more about your possible diagnosis

http://www.endometriosis.org/
Reply:dear,

there are two homoeopathic medicine i ask you to take:

calc.c 30 pills one dose every 5 days

bell 30 pills one dose 5 days beforeonset

one dose a day before onset

[pills to be chewed half an hour after food and a mouthfull of water taken.]
Reply:The symptoms that you are giving sounds like you may have fibroid tumors or cyst, you need to go for a pap test ASAP, the symptoms are heavy bleeding usually with alot of clots and severe cramps that can be in lower back , stomach and down into upper thigh areas. If the pain is severe enough it will cause nausea.. I went thru this for years, however was close enough to going thru my change that didn't have the cyst removed, once they are starved of estrogen the will usually shrink on their own, but as young as you are I would get to the doctor and tell him/her what is going on and get a pap test ASAP. In the mean time soak in a hot tub, as hot as you can stand it and take a pain killer, ibuprophen or just plain asprin, and soak in the tub as long as you can....my cramps use to wake me up at 2:00AM in the morn. and somtimes I would still be in the tub at 5:00AM just kept running more hot water in the tub until the cramps went away or at least subsided a little..

Hope you are feeling better soon.
Reply:Go to a doctor to have an exsame. It could be a cyst to endrometeris.
Reply:wht r u waiting 4 go to the gyno
Reply:Check with your Gyne/Obgyn.

Two things could be going on here: (!) fifroids (2) endometriosis

either of these conditions cause severe cramping, pain, and heavy flows, clots of any size should be reported to your doctor.

Hormones or your thyroid could be out of wack.