In court - long but worth the read! lol?

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are


things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now


published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while


these exchanges were actually taking place. It's worth reading to the end!


Those of you who have worked with attorneys will find this very easy to


understand. Others will find it easier.





ATTORNEY: Are you s€xually active?


WITNESS: No, I just lie there.


_______________________________





ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?


WITNESS: July 18th.


ATTORNEY: What year?


WITNESS: Every year.


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?


WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.


______________________________________ !





ATTORNEY: %26amp; nbsp; This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at


all?


WITNESS: Yes.


ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?


WITNESS: I forget.


ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?


WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.


ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?


WITNESS: Forty-five years.


_____________________________________





ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?


WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'


ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?


WITNESS: My name is Susan.


______________ ________________________





ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?


WITNESS: We both do.


ATTORNEY: Voodoo?


WITNESS: We do.


ATTORNEY: You do?


WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,


he doesn't know about it until the next morning?


WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?


____________________________________





ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-one-year-old, how old is he?


WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.


______________________________________...





ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?


WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?


WITNESS: Yes.


ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?


WITNESS: Uh....


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?


WITNESS: Yes.


ATTORNEY: How many were boys?


WITNESS: None.


ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?


WITNESS: By death.


ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?


WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.


ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a


deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?


WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead


people?


WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be or4l, OK? What school did you go to?


WITNESS: Or4l.


______________________________________





ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?


WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.


ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?


WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an


autopsy on him!


______________________________________...





ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?


WITNESS: Huh?


______________________________________...





And the best for last





ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a


pulse?


WITNESS: No.


ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?


WITNESS: No.


ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?


WITNESS: No.


ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began


the autopsy?


WITNESS: No.


ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?


WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.


ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?


WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing


law.

In court - long but worth the read! lol?
hahaha, it's true that clever people have no common sense, thanks for the laugh, have a star.
Reply:this was posted a couple of days ago
Reply:lol.
Reply:lmao thats good
Reply:they are sooo cool!
Reply:You left the best for last!





Cheers.
Reply:LOL well worth the time! Put a smile on my face anyways ty!
Reply:they are very good lol defiantly worth a star
Reply:Too funny, now give us some more, LOL
Reply:its a good job that you stopped when you did as you would have been responsible for an accident


that was the funniest thing i heard in years


i will be laffin all day thank you
Reply:makes us realise who the sane ones are huhh???..... laughed my wig off at this....
Reply:good job i dont work in a court, i would be on the floor laughing!
Reply:its amazing what kind of imbecile's we have defending us and to see that justice prevails.
Reply:I think I'll buy the book!
Reply:this was on a few days ago it was funny then
Reply:and these people are supposed to be some of the smartest on the planet?