I am extremely quiet & nervous around EVERY1, including my boyfriend/friends/family, I'm not me anymore. HELP!

I have been diagnosed with anxiety disorder, %26amp; suspect I'm depressed as well. When I was in my teens, I turned to drugs/booze to deal with my shyness, now I want to deal with this on my own, without relying on anything. Everytime I talk to people, even close friends, I tense up so bad that my skin crawls, I start stuttering, sweating, %26amp; I want to run out of the room! WTF IS WRONG WITH ME???????????????????? I feel like I'm going completely insane, which makes me even worse. I also have BDD (body dismorphic disorder) %26amp; APD (avoidant personality disorder) %26amp; I am a hermit. I feel like I'm going to lose every1 I care about if I don't get help soon. Tried meds, counselling, etc. nothing works, %26amp; I'm getting so severe in my panic attacks, I don't want to leave my bedroom. %26amp; when I'm not feeling anxious, I feel empty, nothingness-like a walking corpse. I don't want to live this way anymore..

I am extremely quiet %26amp; nervous around EVERY1, including my boyfriend/friends/family, I'm not me anymore. HELP!
The solution is almost always in the problem. If you can figure out why you are so shy, you're halfway there.





When I have had the case of the shysies, its usually been because my self-esteem was low, and my self-esteem is usually low when I lose the arguments against myself.





An argument can take the following form;-


I say: I wonder how I'll do at giving that presentation tomorrow


I answer: You're terrible at presentations. You'll be shaking like a leaf.








As you can see here I have successfully defeated myself, and so when I go to give the presentation next day, I'll probably do very badly.





On the other hand, if instead, I answered the following;-


I say back: What am I saying, I can do this, I'm going to nail that presentation.





My confidence level is up, and its very likely I won't do badly at all tomorrow.





Basically, what I'm saying is that you may be feeling the way you do because you're losing the internal battle. You gotta fight back with all the LOVE you can muster.





Even if its someone else's voice/eyes in your head. For example;-


You Say: This person thinks I'm awkward and ridiculous


You answer: Oh God, people think I'm, awkward and ridiculous





You've lost the battle, and you sink a bit lower than before. Instead, you can answer back with the following;-


You answer: That's their perogative, I'm sensitive and sincere and I think my awkwardness is cute. Then you've won the battle against self and you rise a little out of the hellish experience of self annihilation.





You need Love, and that Love needs to come from you.





Hope that helps...
Reply:Why do you want to deal with this on your own, and not get help from counselors? You know that you need other people's help, so you have to overcome your anxieties enough to go out and speak to those people. At least start by calling a hotline about it.
Reply:Well, you most certainly isn't quiet and nervous person mentally...





I had similar issue as well. There may be many different ways to deal with this... but what I did to get out of my inner shell is by running clubs or getting active in things that I am deeply passionate about. It certainly took half an year to become someone with decent leadership quality. I am still shy to the strangers and acquientences... but I am active with those I call friends.





If the issue is really serious, talk to psychologists. If it costs money, talk to your doctor to see if it is chemical issue rather than psychological.
Reply:hello. i am sorry for what you have to go threw this sounds like a very painful way to live. i would suggest either trying a different counselor...dont be afraid to try different ones until you find one you can be at least a little comfortable with. and as for meds i would say maybe try a different one something for anti anxiety or maybe even an intideppresiant would work. if all else fails at least know that you are not alone there are a lot of people in this world with mental disorders it is nothing to be ashamed or afraid of. as for the people in your life if they love you they will not leave you. and if they do leave you they were not strong enough to be in your life anyways. best of luck to you i hope something works out for you. if all else fails i know its sounds nutty but pray. good luck
Reply:I'll propose a radical solution.... it will solve many negatives, which is just accept yourself as you are





you can always go back to resisting reality, but as an experiment, you could stop resisting for a day





I ask whether the resulting peace of accepting what is is what you want, or do you want what isn't





If you want what isn't, you'll remain BDD and APD will continue to haunt you





If you want what is, I suspect BDD and APD will lose what's powering it and thereby reduce greatly, or even stop