I don't really believe in all that horoscope stuff (something seeming to dictate my life is just plain wrong...), but everything that I have read/heard about it says that Gemini's (of which I am one) are extroverted by nature and extremely talkitive. I can't think of anyone I know who could possibly be anything less than me. Strangely enough though, I'm not like that at all on the Internet. Lately I've been opening up more and more and little by little to people around me, but it's hard and I get scared out of my mind for some reason whenever I try: my heart beats really fast and hard (I can actually see my chest moving: it hurts!), I get a massive headache, I start sweating all over, and my respiration gets erratic. My mind keeps telling me over and over that I'm weak, that I shouldn't be feeling the way I do and that I'm pathetic whenever I have a simple conversation with anyone, but I can't help it. Why do you think this is? Do I have SAD or am I just extremely shy?
Social Anxiety Disorder or really shy Gemini?
There are some good reasons why you would be experiencing these problems. I will submit my full analysis shortly.
Here it is-
Firstly, I should point out to you that, even though you are a Gemini, this does not inevitabley mean that you are talkative. Gemini is ruled by Mercury, the planet of communication. What this basically means is that the issue of communication will be dominant in your life, but not necessarily in a positive way. From what you write, it seems that Mercury is working negatively for you. Rather than being communicative, it is your difficulty with communication that is defining you at the moment.
Secondly, you need to stop telling yourself that you are weak for giving in to your anxieties. When Mercury is not working well in a person's chart, it can cause all sorts of uncontrollable anxieties. (You can trust me on this, because in the past, I experienced a very similar problem to yours, so I can totally relate to what you are saying).
Now for the possible astrological causes. One of the most common causes of anxiety and reluctance to communicate is a Mercury retrograde in the chart. If you have had your birth chart done, check to see if the letter "R" appears next to your Mercury position. This signifies a Mercury retrograde, and in this position, Mercury can cause the type of problems you are experiencing. If the letter "R" does not appear, check also the dates immediately after your birth (perhaps up to 20 days) and see whether Mercury turned retrograde soon after your birth. This would also cause problems for you.
Other indications of communication problems are
-Mercury making a strong aspect to Saturn in the chart
-Saturn in the 3rd house of Gemini
Now for the "solution". The fact that you have been opening up more lately is a VERY good sign. It means that your birth chart is receiving some positive influences, probably from the transiting planets. Even when Mercury is negatively aspected in the chart, there will be periods of respite when positive influences occur.
I know that you aren't that into astrology, but I highly recommend you have your birth chart done, if you haven't done it already, and see what is going on with your Mercury. In my case, knowing astrology really helped me understand my own problems. Best of all, it helped me to know when the problems would ease. It might do the same for you.
Good luck and best wishes :)
....................................
I'm glad you looked up your chart. Would you be happy to list all your planet and sign placements (including Venus, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn etc down to Pluto)? Or would you be willing to provide your date, place and time of birth? If so, I can take a look at your chart and tell you what I find.
.........................................
Hi Alya,
Thanks for your chart details.
You do, indeed, have Saturn in the third house. This is the house which is ruled by Gemini and communication. Saturn is the planet of restrictions. When it is placed in the third house, it creates communication problems.
Moreover, even though you were not born with Mercury retrograde, it did turn retrograde 15 days after you were born, so that is adding to your communication anxieties.
These placements and influences can be a real pain to Geminis because good communication is so important to them.
However, the good news is that the problem will not be consistent. There will be periods when the problem will ease and communication will feel much more comfortable. One of those happy periods is actually approaching for you. From April to June next year, Jupiter (the planet of good fortune) will be transiting your Mercury. You are very likely to feel much more confident in expressing yourself during this period, and any form of study should also be very fortunate.
Another piece of good news is that this is not a life-long problem. The older you get, the more comfortable and confident you will become with expressing yourself. Your placements simply mean that it will take you just a little bit longer to be the Gemini you long to be :)
To help you understand more, I highly recommend doing some research on Saturn in the third house. Here are a couple of sites to help you along -
http://www.skyviewzone.com/astrology/pla...
http://www.trans4mind.com/personal_devel...
You could also research Mercury/Saturn contacts in the birth chart, since these have the identical effect to Saturn in the third house. Here's a good site for that topic as well -
http://www.cafeastrology.com/natal/mercu...
Good luck and best wishes :)
Reply:Okay well i am a gemini...and i fit the description to a T haha...but i agree, not everything in your horoscope is believeable. Anywhoo...I think it could all possibly be in your head. Anything (well almost anything) you tell yourself over and over again can become possible. For example, when i was little and i didn't want to go to school, i MADE myself sick. haha and i stayed home. So if you just relax and tell yourself that being social is a piece of cake i'm sure you're forget about your "SAD," and i'm sure with a little practice under your belt you'll be a total social butterfly. If not, maybe you really do have SAD. Either way, just think of it as a teeny tiny hurdle you have yet to jump. After all...we're Gemini's! We can accomplish anything!
***
oh wow...i just read your added details and i have a few things to add. Well i was going to ask you about your childhood, i figured that might have played a part but i didn't want to ask any offensive questions. anyways...yes i think that could be a part. but you shouldn't place all the blame on your "being alone," as a kid. Because believe it or not, its not impossible to move on. I find that when we dwell on the worst and cling to the past, we make impenitrable walls for our selves. we are our own worst enemy, if you keep yourself from letting go and moving on, and you decided to dwell on your past rather than learn from it, you're giving yourself a way to run away from your problems. you should find an outlet for yourself and practice on your social skills. i don't know if this helps any, or makes any sense, but i'm a gemini as well...and I deal with my own monsters from my past everyday. good luck to ya!
Reply:I use to be that way, I don't know why but I thought that whenever I was talking with someone I wasn't worth the person's time and that I was wayyyyyyyyyyyy less than that person, I used to feel sad and shy!! I don't know why that used to happened to me, then I started to tell myself that I am as valuable to talk to and that I am even better than some people who I talk with, so I feel more confortable of myself and happy with everything I do. Just try not to feel that way because I am sure that u are a valuable person and Never THINK that u are not because everybody has beauty inside them !!! I am a Gemini too, so good luck and I wish u the best, and don't think to much about what u say to people because that will make u nervous, GOOD LUCK AND BEST WISHES!!! :)
Reply:...chances are sun/gemini is not your personality.
...establish personality by knowing time of birth relative to season of birth.
...rising sun sign is how you relate to the world and who others meet in you.
...give regard to the planets rising in 1st and more risen to get a sense of if there are any inhibiting factors. and this is only one possibility ...there are several others.
...chances are good that you are an introverted being...not all geminis are chatty or gossipy or peripatetic. i have met many that weren't. and the reasons were always good.
there are several possibilities as to why you experience shyness and falsely (or not) remark it as anxiety and a natal chart can assist to self-discovery.
i have a lot of experience in this field if i can be of any help to understanding differences of shy and relationship to anxiety.
not to say i am the one and only but that i am able.
**edit**...that is not enough information to make much preliminary alya. but it has hinted more.
if you are serious about seeing your natal chart with respect to your nervousness. let me know here and i will contact you.
until then you don't have enough information here. again...
best of wishes
be well
Reply:I know you said you don't believe this stuff but still... My best friend is a Gemini and he's pretty shy... in fact what you wrote sounds a lot like him, just to a slightly greater extent... Geminis always have loads of nervous energy but he also has his moon in (the somewhat restrictive sign of) Capricorn... people with a Capricorn moon are usually pretty cautious and reserved rather than wild and crazy (Johnny Depp is a Gemini sun Capricorn moon as well... my friend is a lot like how Johnny acts in interviews)... and his ascendant is (the VERY unaggressive sign of) Pisces... he also has some afflictions that indicate shyness... so yeah, not all Geminis are self-confident (in fact most aren't, even if they -are- extremely outgoing)... don't beat yourself up over it, there's nothing wrong with being a little shy either... a lot of people find it kind of charming :)
You ought to find out your birth time and get a birth chart done... I swear you'll feel a lot better if you see where much of your inner tension is stemming from... you don't need the time of birth to find out -everything- but it's way better, way more detailed...
Here's a pretty good site offering free birth charts: http://astro.cafeastrology.com/
http://www.astro.com is great too... you can get some amazing free samples but you have to pay for the full versions... the "Psychological Profile" isn't offered as a sample but it is unbelievably awesome... you can read a little about it here: http://www.astro.com/prod/pr_ph_e.htm Yeah that one might have to wait but oh well...
Take it easy eh... you're being WAAAAY too hard on yourself... you sound like an intelligent, conscientious and very sweet person...
Note: You might enjoy this essay: http://www.crawfordperspectives.com/docu...
It goes into astrology in science, and it's also pretty brutal towards psychologists... totally fascinating...
P.S. I know how you feel cos when I was in school I was so shy I could go literally DAYS without speaking to anyone :p It gets better though... :)
Reply:I think you really do have that disorder. I have it myself, and your symptoms are very familiar. The good news is that all anxieties disorders are highly treatable. You need to start going to counseling, it will work and you will start feeling way better in social situations.
Reply:Well you have to keep in mind that your sun sign (Gemini) is your true self and who you really are, but not necessarily how you feel or how people see you. How you feel is controled by your moon sign and how people see you is controled by your rising sign.. from what I've heard.
Reply:I have the same problem, born in Gemini but totally not recognizing myself in the sign. I as you have discovered that being on the internet have opened me up to others and I feel more free to express my opinions. So in my opinion it might be a little bit of both that affects you.
For myself I have Scorpio rising, sun and mercury in Gemini and moon in Leo. My mercury is quite badly aspected, squares to Saturn,Jupiter, Mars and Uranus.
My moon in Leo makes me want to be in the limelight, but somehow i think my scorpio rising supress that quite a lot.
I wish you luck!
Reply:Social anxiety can cause these feelings, which can also lead to severe depression,
http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/ds...
There is hope; I've been there, and still am there, it is a long, hard struggle. I recommend
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/cognitive_b... worked best for me, with mild anti-anxiety meds. I suffered from social anxiety for over 15 years. I've tried individual therapy, and group therapy and studied psychology for 10 years, as a profession, but also with the hope to cure myself.
Depending on your comfort level, you could go to a psychologist that practices CBT and specializes in anxiety disorders, seek a group therapy, or create one. Usually those that do attend the group therapy are a bit more high functioning because as you know, it can be difficult to speak in a group.
Another idea is to see if there are any local research studies being conducted that you could participate in.
The program that finally worked the best for me is this one: http://www.socialanxiety.us/findinghelp.... and I was lucky enough to have a structured behavioral group to go along with it. Sometimes the people that actually attend this program come back home and form groups.
I recommend a mild anti-anxiety med in addition to CBT therapy.
Any questions, let me know ... I can't tell you how much this has improved my life!
Another great website: http://www.markway.com/acceptance/menu.h...
Reply:How you are feeling about not being good enough comes from your childhood. The ideas and opinions are usually formed the first 7 years of existence. Sagit. as your rising sign one would tend to be more talkative and social.
By astrological standards.
Usually when we feel less than or fearful, it can be directly related to a traumatic experience we had as a very young child. Family related or by a stranger. It's unfortunate but take a look at something that you remember that happened to you which affected you negatively or hurt you at some level when you were young. Deal with those emotions connected to it, and you will be on your way to healing that fear that limits your cognitive mind.
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